TagsTagsIf you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone. -- Jack Handey
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is “Probably because of something you did.” — Jack Handey
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. — Jack Handey
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they’d never expect it. — Jack Handey
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other. — Jack Handey