Ha ha! Yeah, really funny.

LMAO at you though, Charles.

“And I wept. Wept as I had never wept before,” continued Abdel.

They were originally going to go with "Israeli forces kill Arafat," but realized no one, and I mean no one, was going to believe that.

"I wish the news was real and not just a lie."

Yep, that's the state news but what about the street rumours?

Presidential Candidate Michael Cooper assassinated?

What a bunch of cut-ups. You just can't beat Arab humor.

/slaps thigh

Man, the site sure just disappeared for about ten minutes.

#7 evaroste

You, too?

Paladin-Looks like it happened to Thom in the other thread as well. Must be Hostmatters.

Isn't April Fool's an affront to Allah -- kind of like Valentine's Day? Bring out the religious police to crack down on the hilarity.

but but but ... I thought April Fools Day was an imposition of Western imperialist colonialist globalist hegemony on the proud ancient cultures of the Middle East...

Sheesh ... it happened again.

Anyway. As I was going to say:

That ranks right up there with Cooper's "joke".

Charles, what's going on? It keeps crashing :-(

I am having problems with LGF. Anyone else?

BTW, I wonder if the Israelis should have done the same thing for Arafish...

Wow! It's taking forever to post anything.

Charles?

zulubaby, you too eh? Maybe something is wrong with Hosting Matters...?

Israeli Tanks Enter Gaza Refugee Camp

I wonder if they find that funny.

more false messages from false profits ...

Better now.

Whoa - haven't read any posts yet, but I think there's something wrong with the site - took me about 12 minutes to get LGF to open up.

The fact they hate Sharon so much means that Sharon must be right; who did Hitler hate most, his most placable opponents -- Stalin and Roosevelt.

Anyone ever see that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is in Hitler's office and Hitler is trying to kill Bugs and Bugs pulls Stalin's head out of a hat and Hitler runs away screaming in fear. Someone should update that cartoon and have Bugs pull Sharon's head out of a hat to scare off the Arab Hitler lovers.

Hosting Matters was having some issues, but I think things are fixed now.

#18 zulubaby LOL!!

In the ummah, every day is April Fools Day.

OT--lgf loading slowly 7:04pm pt and shows error meassage too. May be my dial up partyline but it is a new computer and first time so slow.

It's Hostmatters, Instapundit was down too.

Sorry, Abdel. Your weeping has just begun.

Yeah, so were several other HM sites. Its better now. As for the Israelis making a move into Gaza, now I bet the Palis find that a riot!

Read 'em and weep Abdel :(

#23 Charles - thank you! Now if I had any idea at all who Hosting Matters (weird first name, no?) is, and who he or she was having issues with, I'd be more satisfied.

Is this an April Fools day joke too (from haaretz):

02:00 Rantisi: I am confident that if Sharon knew what was in store for him he would never have assassinated Yassin.

___
I pray any of their attempts do turn out to be jokes.

LOL of course its an April Fools Day Joke, its not like they COULD kill Sharon. They dont have the balls to...Sure its easy to kill a bunch of kids in a bus or a restaurant but to kill Sharon...LOL sure. It is by far easier to kill Rantisi and Arafat than it is to kill Sharon!

“I wish the news was real and not just a lie.”

This is billboard material.

#31 realwest

LOL. You have got to get a book about this here inter-web thingamajig...

“And I wept. Wept as I had never wept before,” continued Abdel.

It must have been an insidious plot by the Mossad to cause this paragon of Arab manhood to cry.

Maybe zulubaby can break out the violin?

More Arab sense of humor:

Saudi Arabia's ambassador told White House officials Thursday his country opposed higher oil prices, although the Saudis were among those that successfully pressed a day earlier for a cut in oil production.

"We will not allow any shortages in the market because that would hurt the world economy, and Saudi Arabia does not live on the moon," Prince Bandar told reporters after meeting with national security adviser Condoleezza Rice.

Saudi ambassador visits White House, says his country wants to avert oil shortages

They're on a roll:

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia (AP) - Saudi clerics across the kingdom led worshippers in prayers for rain Thursday, blaming a recent drought on sinfulness, including women who unveil themselves or mingle with men.

Saudi clerics pray for rain, blaming sins - including unveiled women - for drought

Sure I can. Enjoy!

Charles has the one of the baby crying. I think that's what this thread needs.

#39 z.b

Ahhh...much better. So hard to focus on the sadness without the appropriate background music.

#31 realwest

#35 Thom

Hee hee.

Now, isn't April Fools day banned there yet. Oh, I get it... holiday that shows affection towards others ala Valentines day is banned but a day where you can wish someone dead and blame it on a prank is OK. About par for the course for the RoP.

I'm going to play along, too.

#39 zulubaby

Is the baby crying this one.

#41 Right Wing Conspirator

Your link didn't work! Was it anything like this?

#35 Thom - oh sure, get a book about this intenet whatever. If I do, then you'll probably want me to read it, too.
Unless there's something like Internet for Dummies that could explain this idiot Hosting Matters so that even I would understand why his issues screwed up the playground here, I think it's not in the cards. I'm afraid I don't have the time for any serious books (and I'm afraid I'm not smart enough to get it all anyway).
And look at it this way; any time I'd spend on reading the book would be time away from LGF and I know you guys wouldn't want...Hey- wait a minute!!!

"I thought they liked me, they really really liked me"

:>)

Whatever happend to the TM thingy, anyway?

#15 FH:

BTW, I wonder if the Israelis should have done the same thing for Arafish...

Where have you been? An Israeli official pulls this joke out every month, except it's "We're just about to go remove Arafat." Like, oh I don't know, today.

(will be glad to eat an ostrich-sized crow if they ever do pull the trigger, but this ceased being funny years ago)

Disconnected here too. Just LGF tho.

#45 realwest

Well, as I explained earlier, every once in a while, Charles would turn my ™ into a question mark, for some reason.

So I opted to drop the ™.

#44 Thom

Yes...

walks away head hanging low...

#41 Right Wing Conspirator - link didn't work for me, either.
BTW - any word from Reaganite?

#42 WriterMom

Ummm. Thanks. Thanks a lot for the nightmares that will be forthcoming tonight.

Speaking of humor, Check this out
[Link: www.tonguetied.us...]
scroll down to the "Truth hurts"
By the way Charles, Tonguetied is the site that turned me onto LGF and I have been hooked ever since.

#38 J.D.

Saudi clerics across the kingdom led worshippers in prayers for rain Thursday, blaming a recent drought on sinfulness

It's not the Jews' fault this time?

#50 realwest

Try Thoms link. That is what I was "trying" to link to.

Yeah. Finally got a quick email from him today. He is back in the rear safe and sound. It was a real quick one, he was deluged with emails in his in box.

And look at it this way; any time I'd spend on reading the book would be time away from LGF and I know you guys wouldn't want...Hey- wait a minute!!!

LMAO !!

Your lucky that went where it did. I was working up ways to play off of that.

#53 Alouette

Must be the 'Saudi reforms' we've been hearing so much about.

52 Zone Alerter - I got turned on to LGF from Tonguetied also.
I like tonguetied a lot and if any of you folks haven't visited it, you should.

#38 JD

Since this one is from 2 April (UK), then maybe there is a bit of truth? Let us hope, but I don't trust our friends the Saudis, for some reason...

Saudis vow to avoid oil shortages

Saudi Arabia has vowed to ensure world oil supplies will remain plentiful, in light of Opec's decision to cut output.
"We will not allow shortages in the market," said Prince Bandar bin Sultan, the Saudi Ambassador to the US, after meeting President George W Bush.

#54 Right Wing Conspirator -

"Your lucky that went where it did. I was working up ways to play off of that."

Well I've done my good deed for the folks here today!!

#51 RWC

Watcha doing up so late? Didn't mean to give you nightmares...you can always try counting sheep.

I myself have hubby and two kids in REM stage so it's very quiet...However, some stinky troll was mildly threatening me over in the IDF thread. I'm going to make sure it's gone then go to sleep.

#57 NY Nana

A Shell station around the corner from me was selling gas for $1/gallon this evening. Traffic nightmare, I heard.

OT
Have been watching a Rwanda documentary on our local educational network and it's amazingly candid in its criticism of Clinton. Shock!

#57 NY Nana

"We will not allow shortages in the market," said Prince Bandar bin Sultan, the Saudi Ambassador to the US, after meeting President George W Bush.

Didn't we also get synthetic oil technology from the Nazis after WWII (along with their "capitive scientists")?
Whatever happened to that technology? We sure could use it now.

#58 realwest

Well I've done my good deed for the folks here today!!

Hey...the folks here weren't getting a complimentary set of Encyclopedia Brittanica sent to their house.

#59 WriterMom

It's only 10:53 in my neck of the woods.

ps - forget counting sheep, I just rub my pups belly until I fall asleep :-)

pss - haven't even been over to that thread yet. I got your back girl...

In the Arab world there should be one day a year when media outlets tell the truth. Then we'll really see the tears flow.

#62 RWC

This is way, way, way past the bedtime of a working Mom and I'm on the east coast, too. "Only" 11:00 at night...Ga!

False alarm on the other thread. I misunderstood something FH said, and it's all cleared up now.

Good night everyone!

#64

G'nite WriterMom.

Sleep tight.

#65 Right WIng Conspirator - thanks for the update on our friend.
Check your e-mail.

Startling announcement from a member of kerry's family:

Kerry Cousin Calls RNC to Support Bush

This will really cause some ketchup to be thrown!

#67 NY Nana

LOL!

And that big, ugly, black box in Mecca has been turned into a pig processing plant run by a Northern Israeli Kibbutz.

Ymmm! Fresh bacon!

Actual Palestinian/Arab (Christian) stand up comic, Ray Hanania:

Hanania has been married three times and his current wife is Jewish. He lampoons his childhood growing up Arab, parodies the oddities of Arab culture, and pokes fun at his unusual Palestinian-Jewish marriage.

"Things aren't so bad. Arabs get four wives. I've had three, if you don't count the sheep," Hanania says to laughs. "It says so in the Arab Bible. The owner-operating manual for 7-Eleven, Chapter 5. Anyone read it?"

Hanania then recites through his marriages.

"My first wife was American. The best 10 grand I ever spent. I got my citizenship. No sex. And she left as soon as the check cleared. I Learned about women quickly," he jokes.

"My second wife was Arab. I remember how beautiful she looked the very first time I was introduced to her up at the altar. She looked so stunning in he white burlap berqa. The gleam in her eye twinkled through the mesh that covered her face. She had me at hello."

Airport security is always a problem, especially with profiling, Hanania says. It was worse with his Arab wife.

"We'd go through security and they'd ask us all these weird questions like, are you here on business or pleasure? Pleasure? My wife is wearing a berqa. I have a towel on my head and it's 110 degrees outside. How much fun can this be? Or, the other question. Did any suspicious looking people give you anything to put in your bags? Ah, yes. My wife's mother, her brother and her dad …"

Paris (AP)---With the recent statements from Islamo-facists regarding the new law in France outlawing the wearing of Muslim head covering in school.
And in light of recent bombing in Madrid and the increase in violence in the Fallujah area in Iraq, France has increased its terror alert from"RUN"
to "HIDE".

No word on when/if that will increase to "COLLABORATE"

or the highest level of "SURRENDER".

Developing...

#57 NY Nana,

This is only my glib understanding but I think they have just made a stand in Opec for higher oil prices, which Opec wants, because they all sense high demand. If it's the same thing they have a funny way of putting it. Where Opec's concerned it puts Saudi Arabia firmly in the driving seat.

SoCalJustice (#70)

That's hysterical. I wish the Palestinians would learn to laugh at themselves and chill out a little.

In the Arab world, the April Fools jokes are murder fantasies.

Here in the USA, Google announces its free gigabyte email beta, and has trouble convincing folks that it isn't an April Fools joke.

Small world.

How about this?

#60,68 JD and #72DOM

JD, where do you live? my husband is ready to go there to fill up. :) Seriously, it sounds like the '70's, but it was not a queue for cheap gas, just to get gas. It got really nasty, and fights broke out. Here the average price is $1.90.

I broke up re Hanoi john. And who says conservatives don't have a sense of humor? We let kerry do his stand-up comedy all the time! Theater of the Absurd, ABC, NBC,CBS, coming to a channel near you, if you don't watch out!

Dom, I don't know what to make out of it, as they did indeed vote for it, but they have been known to flip-flop on many occasions, and not raise prices.

Anyone in an SUV? Ha! That is the one area that I have to say I wish President Bush would change, and have a higher tax rate, as per a truck, and take away the tax advantage to companies that rent fleets of them.

Re: Ray Hanania
[Link: www.littlegreenfootballs.com...]

Uhmm, well, to dissapoint Jordanians (who are mostly Palestinians living in the real unoccupied Palestine state), Sharon is more likely to die of obesity-related diseases...

#74 There isn't any GMail? awww...

Idiots. During the 6 Day War, the Jordanians prematurely broadcasted radio reports that they had captured and defeated Israeli positions 1/2 hour or so before they, the Jordanians, even arrived. Of course, the Israelis were there waiting for them, and we all know how things turned out (Israel reclaimed the Western Wall in Jerusalem, etc.)

Makes me wonder if that's what is happening here, with the latest Jordistinian fools' "joke".

ROFLFA! (rolling on floor looking for ammo)
These Arab pranksters are a laugh a minute!

I thought of writing an April fool story about a mini-bus load of ISM recruits being roasted alive and dragged through the streets by a Zionist mobs outside Berkeley, but decided that it would be in poor taste. Little did I know.

#76 NY Nana

I remember the embargo. Supply wasn't a problem where I lived at that time (refinery town). And then there was the little matter of the petroleum company that owned the refinery accepting that little shipment from Iran despite the embargo, which kinda helped with the supply issue.

#87 J.D.

I remember a toddler in his car seat, and have a feeling that this now nearly 32 year old asks 'Are we there yet?' as soon as a car starts, was traumatized by the hours spent waiting!

In NY, it got ugly, as fights broke out on line.

That little old refinery just might have helped!

I think that gas went to about a dollar a gallon then, and we kvetched.

With summer coming, we will find out, I guess. If, though, the Saudis flip-flop, then the rest of OPEC would possibly back down?

Bottom line? Why, if the Jews are the Chosen People, didn't Israel also get chosen to have the petroleum? :) And when will the stupid arabs realize that their supply has a sell-by date, and will run out.

In all seriousness, we must develop an alternative. If only the rest of the worlds' developed countries could stop finger-pointing, and work together. That would leave the arab petropigs, and the other members of OPEC begging us, and soon pauperized..

Whoops! #82 J.D.!

Back to the future, redux!

#83   NY Nana  

Bottom line? Why, if the Jews are the Chosen People, didn't Israel also get chosen to have the petroleum? :)

We did get chosen to have petroleum aplenty, in the Sinai desert. But because Jews always bend over backwards in the pursuit of peace, we GAVE it to the Egyptians (along with our Mount Sinai, where G'd gave Moses the law) in exchange for "peace".

I demand a refund.

In a prepared statement to reporters today, President Bush delivered his message of great optimism and hope that Operation: 'Nuke Mecca' would gain support among the American people in time for the Hadj next year.
Plans are also under way for 'Operation Sea of Glass' follwing the outcome of 'Operation Nuke Mecca' which should coincide nicley with the pilgrims' visit. April fools!

NY Nana

Well, that little petroleum company was in BIG trouble with the Feds. And it didn't help matters that they didn't pay for it. But that's a long story...

The UAE and Kuwait were supposedly going to oppose the Saudis. The UAE's supply runs out in something like 20 years, much sooner than the Saudis'. The figure I heard a couple of days ago was that the supply worldwide would run out in 100 years. I don't know how accurate that is, but it sounded large to me.

Quiz: What country started April Fool's Day?

Think about it: Fools, Arabs celebrate it...

Hint: It is not an Arab country (yet)

And no googling for it. My hints ought to give it away.

That story was even funnier than the joke that ends with "and no matter how hard he tried, he STILL couldn't get the taste of Jew out of his mouth."

/sarcasm

“And I wept. Wept as I had never wept before"

I nominate that for the Title Rotation Thingie!

"Hint: It is not an Arab country (yet)"

That could be pretty much anywhere.

If I understand Alexis, I think the name of that country begins with "F" and ends with "e".

Arabs are so freaking stupid! How long do they think that Arafish would be allowed to live if Sharon were killed? The Fish would be dead 10 minutes after Sharon.

Abdel

A pet peeve of mine...there is NO SUCH NAME as "Abdel/Abdul"!!! At least not by itself.

It can only occur in conjunction with another name (typically one of the 99 names of Allah) - Abdu'r-Rahman, Abdu'llah, Abdu'r-Rahim, Abdu'l-Jabbar, etc...

Found this on another blog. Not sure if it was posted somewhere else, but thought this was a good place for it.

If the Passover Story Were Reported by The New York Times or CNN
by Daniel P. Waxman

The cycle of violence between the Jews and the Egyptians continues with no end in sight in Egypt. After eight previous plagues that have destroyed the Egyptian infrastructure and disrupted the lives of ordinary Egyptian citizens, the Jews launched a new offensive this week in the form of the plague of darkness.

Western journalists were particularly enraged by this plague.. "It is simply impossible to report when you can't see an inch in front of you," complained a frustrated Andrea Koppel of CNN. "I have heard from my reliable Egyptian contacts that in the midst of the blanket of blackness, the Jews were annihilating thousands of Egyptians. Their word is solid enough evidence for me."

While the Jews contend that the plagues are justified given the harsh slavery imposed upon them by the Egyptians, Pharaoh, the Egyptian! leader, rebuts this claim. "If only the plagues would let up, there would be no slavery. We just want to live plague-free. It is the right of every society."

Saeb Erekat, an Egyptian spokesperson, complains that slavery is justifiable given the Jews' superior weaponry supplied to them by the superpower God.

The Europeans are particularly enraged by the latest Jewish offensive. "The Jewish aggression must cease if there is to be peace in the region. The Jews should go back to slavery for the good of the rest of the world," stated an angry French President Jacques Chirac.

Even several Jews agree. Adam Shapiro, a Jew, has barricaded himself within Pharaoh's chambers to protect Pharaoh from what is feared will be the next plague, the death of the firstborn. Mr. Shapiro claims that while slavery is not necessarily a good thing, it is the product of the plagues and when the plagues end, so will the slavery. "The Jews have gone too far with plagues such as loc! usts and epidemic which have virtually destroyed the Egyptian economy," Mr. Shapiro laments. "The Egyptians are really a very nice people and Pharaoh is kind of huggable once you get to know him," gushes Shapiro.

The United States is demanding that Moses and Aaron, the Jewish leaders, continue to negotiate with Pharaoh. While Moses points out that Pharaoh had made promise after promise to free the Jewish people only to immediately break them and thereafter impose harsher and harsher slavery, Richard Boucher of the State Department assails the latest offensive. "Pharaoh is not in complete control of the taskmasters," Mr. Boucher states. "The Jews must return to the negotiating table and will accomplish nothing through these plagues."

The latest round of violence comes in the face of a bold new Saudi peace overture. If only the Jews will give up their language, change their names to Egyptian names and cease having male children, the Arab nations will incline toward peace with them, Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah declared.

I didn't realize that Muslims were allowed to celebrate April Fool's Day. Isn't it related to a Christian or pagan tradition?

BIG -

That one was great! LOL!

Some have suggested that the plagues on cattle and the first-born may have been Anthrax. (On thing about which I am curious - was the smearing of the lamb's blood on the lintels a sort of "innoculation" against Anthtrax?)

And other plagues could be explained by the annual flooding of the Nile, and volcanic activity.

Someone had mentioned the cult of neturei karta lately. They are the group of alleged Orthodox Jews who deny the very existence of Israel, and are always at arafart's goon squad demos. It turns out that arafart just is a veritable fount of charity. And we thought he kept those zillions for himself and his cronies! Well, they are his cronies for sure!

Arafat transferred funds to Neturei Karta

Captured PA documents reveal that $55,000 given to leader of the anti-Zionist sect.
Amir Rappaport


Advertisement
Rabbi Moshe Hirsch, known as the “Foreign Minister” of Neturei Karta, has never hidden the fact that he prefers a Palestinian state in place of Israel - the Neturei Karta sect refuses to recognize the state of Israel until the coming of the Messiah. However, now it appears, from documents disclosed by the defense establishment, that Rabbi Hirsch has also been in the pay of PA Chairman Arafat himself.

The incriminating documents were captured in the Mukata, Arafat's headquarters, two years ago during Operation Defensive Shield. While looking for PA efforts to fund terror organizations, security officials discovered that large amounts of money had been transferred to the Neturei Karta sect in Jerusalem. The captured documents show that Hirsch received from Arafat $55 thousand just two months before Operation Defensive Shield. Among the documents are receipts with Arafat’s personal signature authorizing the transfer to Rabbi Hirsch under the heading “outgoing expenses”. In the same period, Arafat allocated a much lower sum to terror operatives.

The captured documents include letters written in English by Hirsch to Arafat. The letters are addressed as to an eminent rabbi: “Dear Abu Amar (Arafat’s Arabic name), may you live a long and happy life”.

Hirsch has never hidden his relationship with Arafat. He is a regular member of the Palestinian National Council and served in the past as Minister of Jewish Affairs in a Palestinian government. Members of the sect recently demonstrated against Israel and for Palestine at the International Court of Justice at the Hague.

Rabbi Hirsch’s son denounced the allegations as “evil slander” and denied all financial links with Arafat.

neturei karta is a plague upon Israel. I'll settle for grasshoppers, thanks.

#80 Queen Esther

You and me both!

#87 J.D.

I hope that someone can give us the actual numbers, but it might be conjecture. If it is the arabs saying it, then it has no value.

#95 BIG

I am appropriating your post! :) Did someone say 'Adam Cohen'? Well, speak of the devil! I mean the other Elliot Cohen!

Islam and the Adam Cohens

My Indonesian fiancee received a frantic e-mail from her sister in the United States asking, "Is your Eliot Cohen from Johns Hopkins?" in connection with an article she read in the Washington Post.

I assured them I wasn't and had a chuckle. Confusion with my namesake, conservative pundit Eliot A Cohen, has been amusing me since I lived in Washington in the early 1990s and we were both Economist subscribers. When I'd call customer service, they'd always misidentify me initially, to which I'd reply, "No, the other one." I even began to think of myself, with a laugh, as the other Eliot Cohen.

But what Cohen and a handful of other right-wing intellectuals say in the Washington Post article is no laughing matter. They contend that, unlike Judaism and Christianity, Islam is not a religion of peace and tolerance, echoing sentiments expressed by conservative Christian preachers and red-meat-right columnists in more polite and scholarly tones. They take US President George Bush to task for claiming Islam is peaceful, though they tolerantly concede the political imperatives behind the White House's blasphemy.

The Post quotes Cohen: "Nobody would like to think that a major world religion has a deeply aggressive and dangerous strain in it - a strain often excused or misrepresented in the name of good feelings."

Cohen, whose specialty is military history, must be suffering from selective amnesia. It would be more accurate to say that it's hard to find a major religion without a deeply aggressive and dangerous strain. Religion has been a principal reason for combat throughout recorded time - wars fought to prove, as one wag put it, "my imaginary friend is better than yours".

Moreover, it's disingenuous to read the Koran and pick out the exhortation to jihad against infidels (appropriate to Mohammed's era, Muslim scholars say, but not necessarily a commandment for all time) to condemn Islam, while characterizing Judaism as peaceful. Anyone named Eliot Cohen ought to know better...

Note: The article is from Jan 16, 2003 . Prescient in the stupidity of the LLL.

Palistinean wheelchair for sale cheap.
Seat slightly burned.