someone please explain the red binder

Hah!
First.

On my washed-out monitor it looks like a deep orange.

Hah, Hah.
First and second.

I think one could translate this as Arafat passing the target off his ass. Nice try, Fish. You're still next on the list.

Charles, perhaps it isn't the same binder. Perhaps it is a new. Perhaps... they are breeding! Left in a dark, dank polluted place near Arafat's desk has brought the binder to life, and it has commenced reproducing!

May HaShem have no mercy on him.

I see his sell-by date is somehwere in late april-early May!

OK, who will be next in line when he goes kaboom?

Captions?

"Some information has just been presented to me and...my word, what is that smell?"

"...and for some reason he told me I had to keep in the middle of a huge pile of papers."

"There's nothing in here but Suha's shopping list. And what's Gucci?"

#2 amir

The notorious red binder has been a prominent fixture amidst the chaos on Yasser Arafat's desk for some time. Every so often Charles posts a picture of it. One can only speculate as to what it contains, but knowing Arafat, it's can't be good.

someone please explain the red binder

The Red Binder, that horrible Red Binder, is pee-pull!!!

/Charlton Heston

#10 SoCalJustice

Soylent Red?

The binder is the most precious of all the LGF myths. We watched in horror as the binder slowly inched its way up the stack on Arafish's desk. Much wonder was expressed at the hidden contents of THE Red Binder.

Finally getting to see what's in the binder and learning that you are marked for death. His expression is priceless.

"You get a free frogurt. But, it comes with a curse!"

Help! I don't trust this man with the red binder in his hands!
OT
Zapatero, the new Spanish Prime Minister, has just said that Spain is going to withdraw its troops from Iraq with almost immediate effect!
What's this world coming to?

(#11) scaramouche

Exactly. Just one of many possible theories of the exact origin of the red binder.

OT: Debka is reporting that AQ is planning a major hit on London sometime soon.

Not good. Spain's appeasement sent a bad message, and the Brits may have to pay for it.

#1 amir

someone please explain the red binder

It's a Chinese restaurant menu.

It looks empty, except for a stinky sticky note on the front side.

[OT]

Whatever it is, I'm sure Jesse Jackson can protect us from it.

Jesse Jackson willing to negotiate for hostageshttp://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/meast/04/18/jackson. iraq/index.html

Some tidbits:

He's hot on the trail:

He said he was willing to travel to Iraq to negotiate for the hostages, but only "if I know with whom to talk and know where to go."

Speaking of lube:

"Suffice it to say, they watch CNN, they watch Al-Jazeera, and if your voices are heard, it gives us at least a reasonable penetration," he said.

The Carter/Clinton Method:

"I would certainly not try to incite them," he said. "One of the key features of negotiation is try to relieve their fears. One can be sensitive to the pain of the other without engaging and embracing their politics."

Think he's on to something here about the Iraqis?

"Certainly if someone has all the odds in their favor, they have the hatchet in their hand, and your neck is over the fence, you do nothing to incite them," he added. "You appeal to their better judgment, you make humanitarian, moral appeal, not a military threat."

-My 1st post, so pls be kind

I cannot believe that Arafat has finally passed on the responsibility for the HORRIBLE RED BINDER to Queri.

The Prime Minister is now truly empowered, and the first stage of the Roadmap is complete.

Now all they have to do is stop killing Jews.

(SNICKER GUFFAW SNORT)

Pardon me for a moment.

(BWAHAHAHAHAHAH)

someone please explain the red binder

I'm only guessing, but I think it must contain the codes to the nuclear suicide bombers.

#18 Walstib

Perfect number...18 in Hebrew=chai...'life' in English, and is a very significant number!

You are already off to a great start, and the posts are great.

Somehow I sense that you are not (gasp) a dreaded LLL!

Welcome!

#20 lmg

So that would make it the Islamic football?

I'm so glad it's not green, for that would cause me to question so many things.

This is big....

I think the Red Binder contains the Marlboro Miles product catalog. I think he is shopping for a Marlboro anti Apache missile device.

#21 NY Nana:
I admit, I was a registered Dem for many years, now it's all quite embarassing.

re the 18/chai: Hamavin Havin :-)

I'm actually within earshot of several mosques. When I heard the mullahs(?) screaming loader and more forcefully than usual last night, I ran to JPost and then LGF to see what the fuss was all about. Stayed up way to late reading all the posts about Rantisi and the swarming.

Got to tell you, felt proud that (it seems like) Sharon & Co. are getting on the ball and beginning to treat this like the real ar it's been for a few years now. And although I thought about my family and possible reprisals, I felt only slightly more nervous about the very near future and a lot better about the long term.

Also felt great that there are in fact others out there (most of you guys) who see our peace partners, the media and our enemies for what they truly are, and are not afraid to tell it like it is.

Keep it up; it gives us strength here.

Anyway, thanks for the welcome.

Shalom y'all.

I thought I saw a laser guide dot on his shirt.

Future Kebab.

I'm sure Qureia is thinking "better red than dead".

That red binder contains the history politics culture literature scientific and medical achievements of the palestinians since 3500 B.C.

"Red-eyed supporters of Dr. Rantisi placed him in the ground and used their hands to cover him with the sandy soil in the Sheik Radwan cemetery, near his home. Palestinian youths who could not get near the grave site climbed atop a nearby Palestinian security building, reduced to a shell by an Israeli air strike, for a better view of the burial."

Need we say more ?

I wish Israel would just kill all the savages and be done with it. It might even save Pali lives, as maybe finally the perhaps mythical "moderates" come to power.

By savages, I mean Arafart and Qorei/Queria

#28 Ted - The binder contains all their achievements for five thousand years. It's so small, are you sure????

#32 epg

They used a 72-pt font, too.

#28, #32
In case you haven't seen the list...

[may want to turn down the vol though]

Intelectual Output From the (Arab) Muslim World

[Link: masada2000.org...]

#32 EPG,

Actually, I was thinking it was a bit thick to be that. Maybe it also contains the list of French military victories...

#25 WALSTIB

So you are in Israel! Have you heard anything about the red alert in Modi'in? I have a girl and her husband who live their, and she is like a niece to me. Her Mother OBM was one of my dearest friends, and died last August. It is still hard to believe.

We emailed her, but it is possible that she and her husband are in Jerusalem now.

It is you, in Israel, that give us strength and hope for the future. In the Diasporah, to have our Christian brothers advocate so strongly for Israel keeps us going, as our alleged allies fall like bowling pins to grovel at the feet of the nazimuslims.

Welcome to the recovered LLL's club! So many of us were Democrat, but Carter and Bubba cured us. My husband and I are now, as of last week, registered Republicans. It is not so much that we agree across the board with their policies. No party can be all things to all people, like Hanoi john is flip flopping to do.That being said, President Bush has, and continues to ne, the best friend Israel and the Jews have had in the White House, IMHO. For the US, he has faced the realities of the WoT, and stands up to the cult of islam that threatens the world. It hurts, frankly, to see so many of our 'friends' grovel in fear. Spain certainly didn't learn anything from 3/11, and now the RoP is emboldened, and will expect the same response from the rest of the world. The US and Israel will never give in to terrorists, never.

I see it is nearly Tuesday now for you.

May it be a quiet day of introspection, as Yom HaShoah is observed.

No, that's not the red binder. The real one contains Arafat's pact with the Devil signed by both of them.

The one in Qureia's hands is just a little souvenir collected by a kid in Gaza yesterday, and popped into a transparent plastic folder. Yuk.

#36 NY Nana

Yes, Israel is now my home. Only about 10 minutes from Modiin, actually. Was there a few hours ago dropping off my sister. Don't know anything about the "red alert" there. I do know that an Arab laborer in a neighboring town tried to stab his foreman this morning but he escaped.

In general, security has been tightened a bit since the frail old man in the wheelchair was unlawfully killed a few weeks ago. Most of the "quiet time" between suicide bombings is due to the efforts of the amry and police who continue to thwart countless terrorist attacks.

Yes, tonight/tomorrow is Yom Hashoa/Rememberence Day. But it's kinda like I tell my kids: "EVERY day is Mother's Day"... "EVERY day is rememberence day". Used to be the case only for Jews; now it's the case for everyone. Everyone should remember who they are, what the stand for and not get suckered in to self hatered and/or taking orders from the intolerant ones.

The red binder is to Arafat as the briefcase is to Marcellus Wallace.

You infidels have the red-binder all wrong! The red-binder is a zionist plot to steal Palestinian land. The jooos obviously created it and deviously planted it in Arafat's office knowing it would make him kill joooos, giving the zionist pigs a reason to steal more land. The imperialist americans know all about the red-binder and continues to do NOTHING and continues to support the illegal zionist state in its evil ways.

#38 Walstib

Small world! I am glad that all is quiet in the area.

Did the kids have a hard time adjusting to Israel?

Amazing what that frail old man in the wheelchair could do...now is is with his 72 roasted raisins.

Soon we will light 6 candles, actually in about 3 hours, for Yom HaShoah. As I get older, the pain never lessens. It is almost an inverse ratio, as the hate seems to be at 1930-1940 levels. "Those who forget history"....

Here is a site that is especially appropriate.

Yad VaShem

Chazak! Chazak!

The red binder is a list of NYC call girls available for UN visits.

Inside the binder is the magazine "Houris with Dicks".

Perfect number...18 in Hebrew=chai...'life' in English, and is a very significant number!

Ah, so that is the mystery of the dreaded, unspeakable #17!

18 = "life" therefore #17 = anti-18 = anti-life = Death!

Speaking of the dreaded #17, LOL on "StinkyNote".

The recipe for Osama Bin Laden Cologne.

#44 Frank IBC

OK, now that I have stopped laughing so hard my eyes were tearing, thanks for a great laugh! Uh, is there a deodorant that comes with it? It could be called Xtra strength bin laden #17 deodorant! It really sticks to you! Was that number the one that came up for the name that shall not be mentiones? Something sticks in my mind about someone.

Ya know? I got the strangest sort of feeling in my middle right finger when I typed #17.....(I seriously type with 2 finger)....

Your learned math thesis gets a perfect 4!

"Right, well, the first thing I just gotta do is see what's in this."

Moments before it gets snatched away.

I wonder if he got the baby-wipes too?

#46 Dom:

Just use the universal word for dhimmi - "CHUMP"

#37,

You're close. The red binder actually contains the list of the remaining "gates of Hell" that have yet to be opened during the current intifada.

At this point they're down to opening the doggie-door to Hell, and the video rental return slot to Hell...

#39,

You mean it contains the kookalouris?

#28: That was too funny!

#48 Postal Worker,

Sorry, I don't get it.

Hmmmmm, I was just picturing qureia with that special green band on his head...I wonder if they are already custom making one? How did they ever get it on yassin?

Just looking ahead to the near future....

say, in the history of the red binder secton, 2003 one of the fish's guests was Moratinos--isn't he in the zapatero cabinet? and he was meeting with arafish. heck amybe the whole bomb-on-train caper was inside job.

#48 Postal Worker,

I've an idea I was being paranoid and you weren't calling me a chump. If you don't call me a chump I'm assuming that.

NY Nana -

I've been told that "Eau de Osama" is primarily the essences of Patchouli and Cumin. :)

#56 Frank IBC

I will never look at either Middle Eastern or real Mexican cuisine in the same way.

Where he's been, perhaps also a bit of eau de manure?
And just in case he really hiding in caves, a soupçon of guano?

Not to worry! The red binder is on our side! My psychic dolphins smuggled it into Arafat's headquarters, and it is now being passed around among the Palestinian leadership! They can't take their eyes off it! You see, it contains photos of my gloriously lovely Gitmo girls, in various, sizzling erotic poses, specifically designed to corrupt righteous jihadis, scramble their already scrambled psyches and reduce their brains to something resembling a quivering glob of lime jell-o, on a hot day! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! Just look at Ahmed's face! He's already starting to feel the effects! BWAHAHAAAAAAA! The Latin Kingdom of Jerusalem shall be restored!

/Channeling Baldwin IV, The diabolically clever Leper King of Jerusalem

it contains the secret recipe for Kuwati Fried Camel, with 1100 herbs and spices ...
(Have you ever tasted camel ?)

#59 hd

Tastes like chicken!

(And Fritzie the Talking Kamel dances off stage right, waving a sign saying"PLEASE DON'T TOAST ME!")

The binder is a double. They’re getting really worried about the IDF.

That's right Orbit THE RED BINDER is a decoy. Its mission is to divert attention from those creepy baby wipes Arafat keeps handy.

That red binder contains the history politics culture literature scientific and medical achievements of the palestinians since 3500 B.C.

If that is so, I wondered at first how it could possibly be so thick. Then I realised - it must contain the entire designs & patent application for the electric prayer rug, the saviour of the islamic world's economies in their post-oil, radioactive future.

1. "Ah, my copy of Chicks With Dicks has arrived. Please leave me alone in the bathroom for half an hour."

2. At the sound of Israeli choppers, Qureai's Joo Janta Peril-Sensitve Sunglasses turn completely black, and thereby prevent him from being alarmed by the dangers.

3. "It's not a water bottle... it's pure wood alcohol... you'd need it too if you had to stare at Chairman Arafat's hideous mug all day."

4. "All right, Mr. Zebub, I have signed the Palestinian Prime Minister employment contract in blood as you requested, and my secretary has notarized in blood also."

5. "Will Chairman Arafat be joining us for this meeting, or is he passed out on the couch with a big fat joint watching 'Harry Potter' in the nude again and muttering 'I'll show him my chamber of secrets'?"

6. Ah, great... the microphone has sprouted eyes and Ashrawi's face is melting... the DT's just keep hitting earlier and earlier.

7. "No, Chairman Arafat... Aaron Carter's restraining order is not a 'Zionist Atrocity,' he just wants you to stop stalking him."

8. "America is backing the Zionist Entity's retainment of West Bank settlements, the Zionists have assassinated two successive leaders of Hamas, the EU is investigating misapprorpiated funds, and of course, there are no more checks from Saddam. There is good news, however... I have just saved a bundle on car insurance by switching to GEICO."

9. "Your red folders bore me... take them away!"

10. "And the final item on the agenda... someone named Tuttle has apparently been repairing the ductwork at PA headquarters without a form 27B-stroke-6... have him executed as collaborator at once."

9. "Your red folders bore me... take them away!"

Ha ha ha ha! I love this one.

Arafish is the Space Alien's Guild (SAG) ambassador to the Planet Earth. He keeps the red binder until the correct recipient comes along to receive their orders from SAG. So, whenever you see a red binder in the hands of a UN ambassador or anything other politico, remember that they have received their orders 'from up above'. ;)

You people at LGF made me smile today.
Thanks Charles,
Jen

hey that's not the binder I thought it was. that's like a laminated folder. I thought Arafat's binder was the three-ring type. Someone explain.