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The Hailey Report is Back, Just in Time

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Rumor has it that the results of the investigation into CBS Memogate are going to be released tomorrow.

And in a rather … uh … curious coincidence, Dr. David Hailey, the Utah State professor who is desperately, quixotically trying to prove the CBS memos are real, has released what he claims as the final version of his shoddy, laughable “analysis.” And I’m sure you won’t be shocked at all to discover that his conclusion is … the documents were typed. On a magical typewriter that somehow produced an exact duplicate of a Microsoft Word document, down to the spacing, line breaks, and tab stops … in 1972.

Hailey produced neither the actual typewriter, nor any actual typewritten documents proving his case. Instead, he used a computer to create his examples, by cutting and pasting sections from different fonts, and moving them around letter by letter to get a close match. In the original version of his report, you could actually see the crude cut and paste job in one example; that example has now been removed.

Read it for yourself. Hailey’s report is here. (PDF file.)

Would it be overly cynical to suggest that we shouldn’t be surprised at all to see this mendacious analysis cited in the CBS investigation?

Wizbang has a post this morning pointing out the numerous flaws, questionable conclusions, and bogus methodology in the report.

But for the really crushing refutation, see the peer review done by Dr. Joseph M. Newcomer—a real typography expert—who flays Hailey’s work down to the bone: The Hailey Connection.

The fix is in, folks, and the whitewash is on the way.

UPDATE at 12/9/04 7:58:33 am:

Dr. David Hailey, by the way, donated money to the John F. Kerry campaign: Donor name: Hailey. (Hat tip: Jeremy.)

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 Frank says:

And all the rest of whom for which to whensoever of partially indeterminate bio-chemical degredation. Seek the path to the sudsy yellow nozzle of their foaming nocturnal parametric digital whole-wheat inter-faith geo-thermal terpsichorean ejectamenta. -- From board tape at Zappa concert, outdoors, at Blossom Music Center, Akron, Ohio, summer 1984. This quote was in the middle of a spoken section of "The Mud Club" in which a dude walks into the club with a blue Mohawk and proceeds to "work the floor, work the wall, work the monitor system. . . ." The band was having monitor feedback problems at the Blossom concert, and there are numerous references to P.A. equipment throughout this ramble. Other than that, the quote is meaningless, I guess. But great imagery!