I knew the mainstream media were stupid, but I had no idea that they were THIS stupid. LOL @ the morons!

Friggen' Hilarious!

The figure in the photo appeared stiff and expressionless, and the photo’s authenticity could not be confirmed.

The picture is fake but accurate.

Thank the Lord! Whew!

This is the funniest thing to happen since the TANG Memo!

Also - While we are laughing at the MSM going for this hook, line and singer - let's thank God it wasn't a real GI!

Also thats look like an American rifle not an A-K47

The figure in the photo appeared stiff and expressionless

OMG... Al Gore has been captured!

They have got to be @#$%ing kidding us.

If we depended for our security on THIS sort of soldier, my big brother could have commanded the NATO ReForGer exercise back in 1970, when he was 11...

Bwhaaahahahahahaha!

...MAYBE if they took Spongebob hostage, they might achieve their desired results.

Is Baghdad Bob freelancing, or something?

Tooo funny

lololol another blow to the lame MSM

Boy, the terrorists must be getting desperate. That was pathetic beyond words.

They play with dolls.

WAHAHAHAHAHA

Inquiring minds want to know!

As I said elsewhere:

Was this a jihadi hoax, or did some clever soul hack the website?

The MSM jumps on news like this even when it false but basically ignores real heros like Sgt. Peralta who gave his life to save others.

They can only be bothered with soldiers or Marines when they are victims or when one or two run off to Canada. A little more coverage of true heroes would be nice.

ROFLMAO!

They must be running out of ideas...and suicidal morons.

Ladies and gentlemen, the bottom of the barrel is now scraped.

DAMN, they got Joe!
We'll make them bastards pay! God help em if they start twistin his feet backwards or blow him up with firecrackers!

guess we don't have to send in Big Jim® and the Rescue Rig®

When democracy begins to set in so does their desperation..

Be careful Joe! Just listen to what they say, and don't try anything foolish! Barbie is orchestrating a reconnaissance mission with her fire-red Corvette!

I think the terrorists didn't realize Team America was casted with puppets and thought all American soldiers are made of plastic. I just can't believe something like this slipped passed the editors!

OT Europe's Growing Hostility to Israel

OMG, I thought it looked like a doll. I was afraid to say anything for fear it might actually be a real soldier. For me, it was the legs that looked unnatural.

Breaking new insurgent leader captured, lol
[Link: www.freerepublic.com...]

As I noted on another thread, NPR, in full sanctimony ran the story of a captured GI at four O'Clock.

So how many LGFers knew it was a hoax when the pic first showed up?

*Embarrassed for praying for a doll :>o God must be giggling...

Oh yeah, looks like we got osama

[Link: www.freerepublic.com...]

Too bad this wasn't uncovered AFTER he was beheaded. I would like to have seen how they would have shown that video.

The terrorists are really at the bottom. No more willing martyrs, they have to use down syndrome kids. Now, they know they can't capture an ACTUAL soldier, so they have to fake one.

I know one "real" attack can change the mo' any day, but, man, they really have the wind at their face these days...

sdg

#10 misfit 138

Is Baghdad Bob freelancing, or something?

No, he's writing for a LLL blog. Somewhere else on lgf is quoted a DU comment from Sunday: There is no Iraqi election.

"A statement posted with the picture suggested the group was holding other soldiers."

Word is they may have even collected the entire set!

This is absolutely idiotic. For anyone to believe this is real, you would would have to work under the assumption that the hostage takers's first priority is photo taking rather than disarming the prisoner.

Would hostage takers really leave six to eight hand grenades on the vest of the prisoner?!

These clowns are freakin' pa-the-tic!

Wotta buncha maroons.

I don't have kids (or grandkids, obviously) & neither I nor my brother ever had a GI Joe doll. Yet even I could tell the figure in the picture wasn't a real person.

Losers.

Hope this makes it to FoxNews. Even Limbaugh will do. :-D

Kos is going to really be pissed that this is a hoax

On the Corner

I knew al Qaeda was in trouble, but this really makes them look like a joke. They have sunk a long way since 9/11.

And BTW

You don't need a knife to behead G.I.Joe , it just kinda pops right off.

Imagine what the MSM would have done if they'd put GI Joe's underwear on his head and had Barbie leading him around by a dog leash? It would be the headline story on the CBS News as "payback for Abu Ghraib."

They got Joe!?!

Look for AP to claim that the photo is fake, but accurate.

I hate to think what they're doing to Barbie!

It may just be a toy, but it's my toy and I anxiously await its return!

Somebody (with cyber skills) want to check DU for anyone gloating about the "capture"- before they delete it.

This is what a real soldier looks like!

Thank God! I thought usually they have captives on their knees.

It's too bad it's not Friday night!

The vest, the knee pads, even the rifle! They are all included in the doll kit! Too funny...

I don't know who is more pathetic at this point: Al Qaeda or the Democrats.

Shhh,
Don't tell Dan Rather,
CBS will lead with this tonight swearing it's true.

However this shakes out, a little levity is a good thing for our side.

;-)

As Flyboy pointed out - "Who the %^&*'s holding the GUN?"

At least they didn't get Scarlet.

Word is a tall, full figured blonde woman has also been captured for her scandalous dress. Theyre turning her pink plastic camaro into a bomb as we speak

Yep I was able to recreate that pose with my IDF GI Joe. Using just the default joints.

If nobody is missing, how can somebody be held?

Duh...

I saw this on Drudge... and my first thought was - that guy's head looks weird ... almost too small for the body...

Even the GI Joe doll managed to kill 10 "insurgents" before being captured.

Special Edition GI Joe.. $55 on eBay
Art supplies for minature Jihad banner... $15

Showing the World that you're desperate
and duping the idiot MSM... Priceless

I haven't laughed this hard since the Daily Recycler posted the John Edwards video primping session!

Hold on Joe,

Bhurka Barbie to the rescue -- hope my pink corvette doesn't stick out too much.

He was human, up until the time he was made of plastic...

MSM WANTED TO BELIEVE! Also, their parents never let them play with WAR TOYS so they never had a chance of spotting this.

Ohmigod!

They also got Elmo and Mr Bill!

[Link: powerlineblog.com...]

Incredible. The MSM is still sticking with the story. The ABC affiliate here in New Haven listed his name as John Adam. Several of his comrades are being held. What, was there a friggin clearance at Toys R Us? I don't know which is more idiotic, the fact that the Jihadis thought they cold have fooled somebody or the medias eagerness to scope this up.

I've seen these for sale in my local hobby shop. At least I know the hacker or jihadis shelled out more than the regular price for action figures, because IIRC, these collector editions are pricy.

No dolls for oil!

They also got Elmo and Mr Bill!

Evil Bert is behind this.

What next? Rape victim Barbie?

Boy,

Ten seconds go by and I'm twenty posts late.

Oh. My. God.

This might be the funniest MSM post ever. And it's only funny because it's (ahem...apparently) true.

This must be a drinking thread.

What did they use to bloody his face? Lipstick? Crayons?

The vest is the giveaway, totally. OMG I hope this wasn't a hacker - this is the funniest thing ever.

The latest on Drudge:

ZARQAWI KILLED BY CHUCKY DOLL!

Good to see that Mary Mapes found a new position so quickly...

#32 Locke/Demosthenes

Yeah, and the MSM may finally catch on when they trot out "Ice Station Zebra" Joe ...but don't count on it.

Damn! I was just about to email that link to Charles. LOL I should have known that if I found it someone else had already sent it on.

#15 Dianna

Was this a jihadi hoax, or did some clever soul hack the website?

This was NOT a case of hacked website. The information about the site was posted in Arabic on al-ansar, according to Aaron.

Definitely signs of desperation.

First that disabled child thing, then the staged car "bombing", now the toy soldier.

I wonder what might be next?

LOL

Can this be the straw that breaks the MSM's back, please?

I'd like to hear NPR run a follow-up.

AP:

France is now having second thoughts about surrendering to the GI Joe doll.

Meaning while LLL's in the US says the war toy deserves to be killed. Children should be playing with non-violent toys.

I HAVE THEIR TERRORIST LEADER MICHAEL MOORE!

Michael Moore Captured!

I will only release him if John Adam is released!

#67 PDM

Evil Bert is behind this.

LOL! Yeah, he joined A-Q, didn't he? :-)

#64 MohawkDaddy

Incredible. The MSM is still sticking with the story. The ABC affiliate here in New Haven listed his name as John Adam. Several of his comrades are being held. What, was there a friggin clearance at Toys R Us?

ROTFLMAO! :)

I don't know which is more idiotic, the fact that the Jihadis thought they cold have fooled somebody or the medias eagerness to scope this up.

Imagine the toy manufacturers looking at this photo:

"Doesn't he look familiar?"

"HE'S OUR TOY!" :)

Sooo freaking funny!

AP "reporter" Great story! Err, I mean big news here boss. Should I get any confirmation from the Pentagon before we run with it?

AP editor: Why? You want to talk to one of the liars there, one of the idiots, or press your luck and hope for a lying idiot? This is off a freedom fighters' (both ululate) web site, so it is undoubtedly The Truth-TM.

AP "reporter" Awesome! We scooped "60 Minutes!"

not a joking matter, guys.

Especially the beheading jokes people are firing off are in bad taste.

Let's all be happy that this isn't real.

It'll be way too optimistic to expect the AP to examine their, uhm, procedures, for what stories they run (with).

Next thing you know, al-Associated Press will be using pictures from Fark Photoshop contests.

it's a good thing they bound his hands - he'd really kick some jihadi ass if he had his Kung Fu Grip® available

Some comments from DU

"Screw you if your idea of ethics is that if what happens to US military is the only thing that counts after what we have done to innocent Iraqis, you are out of your selfish little mind!"

"3. according to *bush if he is beheaded it will be "worth it"

Don't do anything stupid! Just give them your name, rank and suggested retail price.

OT: David Horowitz at Stanford University 7PM this evening

David Horowitz of FrontpageMag.com will be speaking at Stanford University this evening. Here are details:

Horowitz lecture

The Dangers of Academic Bias on College Campuses

DAVID HOROWITZ is a nationally known author and lifelong civil rights activist. Previously a long time founder of the New Left movement in the 1960s, he has gone on to pen numerous books, including The Politics of Bad Faith, The Art of Political War and Radical Son, his autobiography. Since 1988 he had served as president of the Center for the Study of Popular Culture, a vehicle group for his campaigns and his online newsmagazine FrontPageMag.com.

Date and Time: February 1, 2005. 7:00 PM.
Approximate duration of 1 hour(s).
Location: Kresge Auditorium
Sponsor: Stanford Jewish American Alliance
Admission: free
All welcome

PS: is there any better way to announce stuff like this on LGF?

I always knew those evil terrorists were in cahoots with C.O.B.R.A.

Now that I think about it, I've beheaded GI Joe.

But eventually, I put him back together.

What would Aisha say?

Now on Drudge -

'It is our doll... to me it definitely looks like it is,' Liam Cusack of the toy manufacturer Dragon Models USA, inc., tells the ASSOCIATED PRESS. 'Everything the guy is wearing is exactly what comes with our figure...'

I wonder if this is another Rather-like case of wishful thinking by some of the trully biased in the AP / MSM? That they were so anxious to get this story out (for embarassment of the Administration) - that they didn't do any basic common sense fact checking.

If they really have captured G.I. JOE then these terrorists are in big trouble.

I have no doubt that Joe will kill them all before he makes a dramatic escape.

"Well if someone's going to break the photo as a hoax first, it will be us" --- Militant Jihadists

Yep I was able to recreate that pose with my IDF GI Joe. Using just the default joints.

So are you at work right now?

I thought something about the "G.I.'s" skin color seemed a bit unnatural; after all, he makes George Hamilton look exsanguinated.

"Gorgeous George"

This is going to be the means by which we are finally able to discredit the the A.P. to "center dwellers" (those people who really find it hard to believe that so-called reputable news organizations can be biased), as well as the LLL's who haven't reached Moonbat status (meaning salvageable brain cells remain).

MSM WANTED TO BELIEVE!

Yes they did/do. This gives them something to be critical of Bush, and that is their sole reason to exist.

From the Ace of Spades HQ

Top Ten Other Terrorist Announcements

10. "If the UN does not immediately withdraw support for the US occupation of Iraq, the Jihad Brotherhood will cut off one of Papa Smurf's three fingers"

9. "We have captured Rainbow Brite, and we will hang her as an infidel at dawn"

8. "Al-Zarqawi is pleased to announce his new lieutenants, following last week's captures-- COBRA Commander and Megatron of the Decepticons (also, we may get that completely-useless robot who can turn into a fuckin' camera)"

7. "If the American infidels do not depart Iraq immediately, the streets will run black with the ink of a thousand Etch-a-Sketches"

6. "I swear to Allah, if you do not release our brave warriors held in captivity, by next week Garfield the cat will have a whole new reason to hate Mondays"

5. "You have no chance of defeating us in Iraq, in Afghanistan, or in high-stakes games of Hungry Hungry Hippos"

4. "We have Jarts and we're not afraid to use them"

3. "By Allah the Great, if our demands are not met immediately, we will begin pestering your female soldiers with our great stockpiles of Mr. Microphones; they will not be able to sleep, for our constant utterances of Hey good-looking, be back to pick you up later!"

2. "Deliver Donald Rumsfeld to us as a war criminal for trial or we will take our collection of Muppets and pose them in the most insidiously-sexual of manners; verily, your children will weep bitter tears when they witness Elmo being sodomized by the deviant Gonzo and his pansexual chickens"

... and the Number One Other New Terrorist Announcement...

1. "A thousand explosive Chia Pets will thunder in the streets of Bagh... oh, fuck it, we're a bunch of buffoonish wankers everybody knows it"

ROFL

Finally, someone we could trust the French to rescue. Maybe.

Sure you're all laughing, but what will you say when Bush brings back the draft and Barbie's little sister Skipper has to go to war- for OOOIIILLL!

They were debating whether or not to show what they'd done to his genitals.

86 Craig Abu Al-Boo-Boo

That would be a great improvement. Some of their photoshops are hilarious.

FLASH!

Barney the Dinosaur held by Tinky Winky.
Po said to have died in shootout!

The DUmmies are having a BALL with this one. They even have a picture of the toy and people are STILL going on about the poor soldier. I'd better stop reading before the cube-neighbors come and have me committed...

DU discussion

#76 savage_nation

Second hostage?
Wasn't by any chance "Handsome Groom Ken," was it?

Oh, the humanity!

#55 kstagger, yep. first thought before reading the text.

#62 Peacekeeper. You may be exactly right about those liberal kids. On the other hand, I had whole regiments of ``Army Men'' in my backyard (who BTW were proficient in cover and concealment, so proficient in fact they are MIA!)

But, more to the point, has anybody told the good Rev. Jesse Jackson they've captured a Brotha? Maybe he can go to Fallujah and arrange his ``release...''

Hasbro calling a press conference within the hour...

Developing...

are they going to "behead" him with firecrackers?

ROLFMAO! Absolutely Classic!

God, I love the internet.

Looks the folks at DU are staying out of this one.

This GI Joe had a fabulous plastic surgeon...

All your toys are belong to us!

OT
***
Crime doesn't pay. Nor do 40 years of submission...
Libya disappoints European firms as U.S. wins most oil exploration permits

"It was a bad start," one European oil executive said after Tripoli allocated 11 of 15 exploration licenses, the first granted to foreigners for 40 years, to U.S. companies.

Indian, Canadian, Algerian, Indonesian and Australian companies took the others - despite a recent trail of European leaders to the North African country, including France's President Jacques Chirac and the British and Italian prime ministers Tony Blair and Silvio Berlusconi.

European countries which tendered for the permits included the French firms Total and Gaz de France, Spain's Repsol, Italy's Agip and Britain's BP. None succeeded.

Finally, someone we could trust the French to rescue. Maybe.

I believe that should be:

Once again, someone we could trust the French to pay a ransom for. Again.

to jihadis:

"You're going to have ton answer to the Mattel company"

channelling Dr Strangelove

The DUmmies were slow on the uptake:

And it's a brother too! Probably some poor kid from a poor family who never heard squat about Free-trade or PNAC. God-damn I hate this system!

You would not be laughing if it were your G.I. Joe.

Theft of property is a serious crime.

Meanwhile US and Iraqi security personal are examining the surviellance videos from the East Baghdad Wal-Mart to see who the perps are.

(petulant self-centered whine) "But who monitors those pajama-wearing bloggers for accuracy?"

Don't you worry none. We'll be sure to take the bloggers to task if they ever sink to the level of our professional multi-national news corporations.

I just zapped the links to my afternoon talk radio host - he will have a blast with this material.

I wonder if it will hit SeeBS or CNN?

Control the media, control the mind!

#66 brianstien

Isn't GI Joe made of petroleum products? This is some kind of evil Rovian plot!

NO POLYPROPYLENE FOR OIL!

Fake, but accurate. You just know Jennings and Rather are going to run with this tonight and state the war is not going well.

Oh, ok maybe they aren't. Of course they aren't, they can't help themselves, can they?

#82 Mr Pol,

LOL! Yeah, he joined A-Q, didn't he? :-)

I don't know what this world is coming to. They just don't make toys like they used to.
[Link: dc-mrg.english.ucsb.edu...]

#89 Bob G.,

Don't do anything stupid! Just give them your name, rank and suggested retail price.

LOL!

Maybe it is one of those new robot warriors the Army is starting to deploy:-)

Like GI Joe always said, "knowing is half the battle!"

This is such a sweet irony, because GI Joe's nemesis, the evil Cobra Commander, was also a pathetic tyrant who treated his minions like crap and would run at the first signs of trouble, leaving his grunts to take the flak.

So it seems Al-qaeda=COBRA. Who would have thought watching cartoons would pay such big dividends as an adult?

Listen up Lizardoids!

I am going to say this only ONCE!

This is NOT a joke! Although the soldier pictured in this story may be a fake, and actually a doll, that does not negate the acuracy of this report.

The veracity of the story is still the same. The picture may be fake, but the story is acurate. How dare you call this story a LIE!

Yes, I have received my education on these affairs from the GURU DAN RATHER HIMSELF!

posted on last thread--- but couldn't resist...

Who will the next hostage be?

Tragedy becomes farce. I read that we captured the Jihadi 'propaganda' chief in Baghdad recently,and I guess they are now forced to use the 2nd team.Well maybe the 4th or 5th team if this is any indication.

LOL

The only missing now, is Iowahawk either doing more dumpster diving, or writing about Buzz Lightyear and Woody leading a rescue mission...

Barbie being held hostage at undisclosed beach location.

Gangsta Barbie called in for special SWAT rescue action!

#16 ferris

Great post. Sgt. Peralta's heroism should have made it to every MSM outlet. They really are the enemy. How would WWII have turned out if Ernie Pyle was a Nazi sympathizer?

Haw haw!

Channeling Nelson Munz

Let's start a pool on when the AP will realize they've been had.

I get 5:15 CST - just in time to be too late for the evening news!

I'm still LMAO!

Available with optional Jihad Joe suicide belt.

Coming soon: a photo of the same solider typing a raised "tm" on a 1970 typewriter.

That's Hi-Tech special effects there! Is that state of the art CGI? Did Industrial Light and Magic help perpetuate this?

No! It's a freaking DOLL! With a 1.5 inch long plastic gun pointed at it.

In an unrelated story, a busty blonde yelled Allah Ahkbar as she drove her pink Corvette up to a restaurant known as "Strawberry Shortcake's" and killed several members of the Smurf family in an apparent suicide attack!

Developing!

Man, that's pathetic.

I do, however, have it on good authority that Destro and Cobra Commander have released a statement disavowing any knowledge of the abduction.
Elsewhere, He-Man and Optimus prime have staged high level talks about a joint Masters of the Universe-Transformers rescue operation.

threatened to behead him in 72 hours

That's cool. It just snaps right back on. Good as new.

hmm

i guess I could use dolls from "Aladdin" as the 'insurgents'

We should send an Ann Coulter doll to rescue him...

The only thing...PIMF - but it's so hard when you're laughing as hard as I am now...

I think the MSM wanted to believe this desperately, but even a cursury glance at the photo and you can see that this is just a doll. That was the very thing I thought when I saw the photo.

Do not however think that this is some sign of the incompetence/deperation of the insurgency. This is just an internet hoax that was gobbled up by a media eager to see one of our soldiers beheaded.

How stupid are the Daily Kos idiots? Take a look for yourself!

[Link: www.dailykos.com...]

"is eerie. What with the Gonzalez torture debate occurring simultaneous with this story breaking. I doubt that the captors intended this coincedence. But wow! Will the right-wing zealots see it as a message? Nahhh."

"His head will look smaller than it should becuase he's wearing body armor and a tactical vest. These layers will make his shoulders look larger. This effect will be amplified if he's wearing an ECEWS undershirt to stay warm.
It looks real to me."

I would love it if this made the evening news on the MSM.

This *ahem* little fraud by the jihadis points out their almost total failure to capture armed U.S. soldiers and marines. The noble lions of the mujahedeen are so much more talented at killing unarmed civilians.

This is a shot they have been wanting to take, but have been unable to capture any live soldiers.

What's next the GoBots? Is nothing sacred with these barbarians!

AP has the change.

Here.

You know, all black guys look alike to racist LLL hypocrites, even when they're just a foot tall.

The sad thing is the AP, along with the rest of the MSM, is probably DISAPPOINTED that there is no hostgage crisis involving a member of the "imperialist" US troops.

Pretty cheesy when the terrorists are so deperate they have to shoplift GI Joe dolls!

#141 PDM

ROFLMAO!

#130 Renna

LOL!

I'm sure they won't be taking SpongeBob or Tinky Winky, because they are supposedly gay-it would offend their jihadi sensiibilities.

"America FUCK YEAH! - Comin' again to save the mutha' fuckin' day yeah!"

Too bad they didn't get a "magic earring" Ken doll. Or would that be in violation of "don't ask, don't tell"?

Hey, did you hear what Kahdafee's (sp way bad) son said? The reason Israel always wins at war over Arab countries is because Israel is a free country. That means the military types have to compete to get into leadership instead of some fluncky getting appointed by the dictator. And the dictators don't want somebody to good in there as they could take over.

Kind of makes sense to a point.

They use children with Down's Syndrome as suicide bombers; they behead innocent civilians; they listen to madmen who don't wear underpants issue daily fatwas...yet we must respect their cultural differences, their religion and their alternative views on social order and government...so, the LLL says, that we can "understand" them. Such a shame now, that we must feel sorry for them because they can only get ahold of a cheap knock off G I Joe doll to threaten us...anyone got an old Bill Clinton doll they want to contribute to the insurgents?

www.toypresidents.com

#29 Jeff R

Firggin Hilarious man.

By the way, I took the liberty of e-mailing the folks at AP. Wanted to be sure that they get the scoop on these stories as well.

France will send French Troops to rescue him.

Infidel sons of pigs and monkeys: you will fear the brave jihad warriors, who have recently captued the Zionist imperialist known as "Furby." Release the Muslim prisoner Betsy Wetsy, or we shall skin Furby alive!

Cobra Commander and Destro are at it again.

#127 Roger,

You mean like the shadow people?

[Link: www.militaryphotos.net...]

New to posting but have been reading you for awhile.

One of my sons was standing next to me when the original post of the "captured soldier" popped up on Drudge. His question was this: "What are they trying to prove by holding G.I. Joe hostage? Anyone can see that even the gun's not real." I thought it looked fake myself but he caught it right off the bat. He's 9. Another fact that it pays to home school.

Look at the vest. And the scowl on the doll in the kit. It's a doll! And they could be standing anywhere when the rifle was put in the picture. You wouldn't be able to tell the scale if it's foreshortened.

If a jihadi dies during this operation does he get 72 Barbie dolls as his reward?

Wait until they take Pikachu hostage!

Peta will get all over the Jihadists then.

Hang on Joe - help is on the way!

Help for Joe

We had better free the Holy Brothers and Sisters in our prisons immediately. I can stand the thought of a giant hand torching that GI with a giant Bic lighter. Hopefully they don’t have any giant ladyfingers to splode him with.

I am afraid for my daughters Polly Pockets now.

I'm hoping this will be like Howard Dean's scream. The end of the MSM's quagmire rhetoric. Should I hold my breathe?

We had one with Barbie, and we were going to say that it was Hanan Ashrawi, but I figured that even the AP wouldn't fall for that one. Reuters, maybe...but not AP.

#149 Sarah D

From your link:

but doubts were quickly raised about its authenticity

My question is, doubts were raised by whom? The blogs again? It doesn't appear it was the MSM, anyway.

but doubts were quickly raised about its authenticity and the U.S. military said no soldiers were missing.

Doubts were quickly raised all right, but it sure as hell wasn't by the MSM.

A$$holes.

#111 MohawkDaddy

Kos is reporting on this, but predictably, since its ostensibly good news from Iraq (and we can't have any of that...) he goes off on a tangent of his own, as he ends his post with:

"The Senate must vote NO on Gonzales."

#173 Renna

Always one jump ahead of me, Renna is!

The fearsome Teddy Bear infantry of the marines has the jihadists surrounded!(AP)

Kinda off topic, but it looks like the King Of Nepal may be Jewish.

OK, way off topic, but this is a thread about a plastic doll . . .

You'd think (well I would at least) that the MSM would have learned to look before leaping, but nooo...

How easy it is to get complete CRAP into the AP trough for general consumption... fascists everywhere must be delighted.

A beer, you owe me, Carolina Girl.

"Karl Rove and Team America World Police Play Prank on MSM"

And I'm sorry, but let me be the first to say it MATT DRUDGE IS A TEDIOUS ASSHOLE

For cryin' out loud.
According to the new AP story, it isn't even a real GI-Joe, it's a competitor's version called "Cody."
Next-of-kin, the toy company honcho, has positively identified him.

AP did forget to mention who raised the doubts. Ah well, unimportant little bit of information.

By now they're back to prowling through Carl Rove's trash cans.

#157 Dave the...

Hey, did you hear what Kahdafee's (sp way bad) son said? The reason Israel always wins at war over Arab countries is because Israel is a free country

Kinda like the Chinese commies figuring out that the basis for a strong military is a capitalist economy. Better capitalist communism than weakness I guess.

#184 HAHAHA CODY!?! LOL!

#174 Carolina Girl, think they'll will try to use that to claim they had doubts about the GI Joe being fake ra^ther than the story being fake?

"the U.S. military said no soldiers were missing. "

But did they check their toy box? Rumsfeld must resign!

Too many great one-liners for this threat :-))

Here's my shot at humor

Al Jeezera: The Iraqi Muhjahadeen has announced it will
behead Malibu Beach Barbie, unless its
demands are fully met. The Grand Mufti of
Jerusalem (Al Quds) has been quoted as
saying: The sexual she-satan, know as
The Barbie, is a Zionist plot to sexually
de-grade the dignity, that is Islam. So I
proclaim a mighty fatwa, saying to all
Crusaders, Yahoodis, and Hindu-men that
Da Bitch Deserves it!

Here's one the terrorists will never catch:

The envy of the neighborhood

The figure in the photo appeared stiff and expressionless

Of course he is. He's made out of freakin' plastic!

I wonder it the brave lions of Allah took the doll from the Downs sndrome suicide bomber?

Looks like we may have to send HER over to rescue Private Adam, and teach Zarkawi a lesson at the same time.

Hoaxing the MSM is one of my specialties (crop circles, etc.), but I would never have attempted something this lame. When they're even more gullible than I think they are, well, they're just aren't any words for it.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

They claim his name is John Adams.

Why not John Doe?

Or Adam and Eve?

This is tooo funny!

#178 Maine's Michael

The Jewish thing is sooo yesterday. The question really is how many wives does he get? Apparently, the King of Swaziland is just waiting on the HIV test before he takes his 17th wife. And she's only 16. Or-she's the 16th wife, and she's 17. I read about it this morning.

Hat's Off to you, Charles!

As far as I can tell, you got the accurate scoop on this story before any of the "news" sources I scan did.

Go, Lizard King! All hail the Lizard King!

this made my day

Thanks guys. I needed a good laugh today. Kidnapping GI Joe...how lame can you GET?! Are they showing Joe on Al Jazeera?

Yesterday a little girl got shot, and the Palis said the Israelis did it and despite denials from IDF, MSM ran it. Today they learn that Palis shooting in the air killed the kid.
This doll hoax is just another example of how the MSM want certain stories and don't wait for proof.

#185 Sarah D.

AP did forget to mention who raised the doubts. Ah well, unimportant little bit of information.

By now they're back to prowling through Carl Rove's trash cans.

But there's a reason why the're not as stubborn as C?BS! Who knows though, they may find an "expert" who will certify that there is a tribe in polynesia that looks like that. As long as it's possible...

Just in from AP - Cobra Command has captured the U.S.S. Flagg playset and the Sgt. Slaughter action figure! Those bastards!

This story is the funniest thing since season six of the Simpsons!

#194

Wasn't she at Grab-An-Arab prison with Lyndsie English?

ROTFLMAO

Here's "Enemy Commando Bomber", the suicide bomber counterpart to GI Joe:

[Link: www.schlocktoberfest.com...]
(scroll all the way down)

Associated Press didn't ACTUALLY fall for this joke, did it?!?!?!?!

I'm eagerly awaiting NPR's 5 O'clock to see if they have wised up yet. At four they ran the tragic hostage taking blahh blah, military denies knowlge, blah blah

#207 Imagine the thought of a bunch of little "John Adams" dolls over-running the insurgency. Looks like our R&D is paying off!

He may only be a doll, but if they cut his head off, we should still nuke Mecca.

What sick, evil mind could concieve of this travesty?

SOMEONE HAS TAKEN OVER KOS!

Great News! No Soldier Captured!
by Armando
Tue Feb 1st, 2005 at 10:18:21 PST

This is great news. I've edited the entry to reflect it.

Oh my,
QM

I'm eagerly awaiting NPR's 5 O'clock to see if they have wised up yet. At four they ran the tragic hostage taking blahh blah, military denies knowlge, blah blah

As alluded to earlier, who at NPR would allow their kid to play with a violent war toy? Probably have never seen GI-Joe or this sized down knock-off.

By the way, I was in a hobby store recently and was amazed at the selection of war action figures and accessories available.

You know, I had this Bugs Bunny doll when I was 2 or 3 years old. It was chewed up and ratty-looking, but I really loved it.
Then, one day it was gone. I always suspected that my Mom had threw it away, but now I'm not so sure. He may very well have fallen into enemy-jihadi hands. G-d knows what those bastards did to him.

Bugs, if you're still alive, and if your're out there listening, I'm sorry I didn't go after you. I was only 3 and I didn't know about jihadiis. If I did, I swear I would have come after you! I will now dedicate the rest of my life to recovering you. Just sit tight.

I'm comin' for you, Doc!

The MSM forgot to ask the experts. I showed my daughter the picture and she said "Yes, it's a doll. Trust me, I have dolls".

Unfortunately, we don't have enough doll armaments to send my daughters' dolls to the rescue. The only armed action figure we had was a "Hunter Dan" doll, but the last time we saw him, he'd abandoned his gun and was hot-tubbing with all the girl dolls.

You gotta be kidding me!

How the ivory tower has fallen. I used to detest the MSM. Now I see em for what they are ... a joke.

ROFLMAO!

#77 rosh:

Maybe they just wanted to see if the MSM would go for it--and they did! Morons! The MSM really are a bunch of gullible slackers!

Excerpt from the link to this post:

A statement posted with the picture suggested the group was holding other soldiers.

"Our mujahadeen heroes of Iraq's Jihadi Battalion were able to capture American military man John Adam after killing a number of his comrades and capturing the rest," said the statement, signed by the "Mujahedeen Brigades."

The terrorists are beginning to sound like Baghdad Bob...

omigod!
This is the funniest thing I ever saw. the jihadists must be scraping the bottom of the barrel, what wankers!

All goes to show how utterly pathetic the msm is...and how ever more important blogs are becoming:-)))

"Stiff and expressionless" indeed! bwahahaha:-)

deepdiver

"...MAYBE if they took Spongebob hostage, they might achieve their desired results." Spnongebob was just outed and so was thrown out of the army, remember? But Plankton, you're ass is grass.

Release him now, or I send Buffy and Master Chief over to go Jihad on your asses!

Oh my gawd!

CNN is still running with the story... Rebels to Behead Captured US Soldier in 72 Hours

#164 4Him, welcome and great first post! 9 year old figures it out immediately! Where are the AP reporters eyes? Or can't they see because they want the worst so badly?

No problem! These guys are coming.

America's rivers will flow green with the goo of 1 Million Creepy Crawlers!

#214 Quilly Mammoth

Not quite.
Did you read to the end of the post?

The Senate must vote NO on Gonzales.

#225 MSM is having a skippy moment

#213 Peacekeeper

What sick, evil mind could concieve of this travesty?

This one, evidently.

Any lizards capable of translating?

Terrorist 1: Brother, what shall I say the name of our hostage is?

Terrorist 2: Something that sounds American. I know, George Washington.

Terrorist 1: No brother, that would sound fake. (looking at US history cliff notes) How about John Adams?

Terrorist 2: Change it to Adam, my brother. They will never suspect.

Poor Senator Pequod. He probably was going to cite this abduction in his effort to block the nomination of Alberto Gonzales by filibuster. The Dems, all of a sudden are so concerned about the security of our soldiers an civilians, claim that the direct involvement of Gonzales in approving torture has made them and us less safe. Teddy you treasonous blowhard, go ahead and try to "Condi" this nomination. You'll look foolish just as you did with your demanding the pullout from Iraq.

I doubt this was done by jihadis. They simply don't have that much imagination.

More likely this was cooked up in the West.

At the top of the news this hour...

Gripped by fear that they will be the next to becaptured by Iraqi insurgents, the dolls at Hasbro and Mattel have bended together and hired The Guardian Angels as body guards. Barbie's representatives have announced that she has hired on the A-Team to brovide her with twenty-four hour protection.

"I just love that guy called Face! He's so handsome and so much more macho than Ken. I'm sure he will take care of me."

These fears flaired when it was confirmed that the US Militant that was thought to he a hostage, was in actuality a military action figure.

We will bring you more details as they come.

This is Dan Rather, saying good night.

The bottom line:
Any Arab claim will be accepted uncritically until proven false perhaps months later. By that time it will be old news! Read the apology on page 15.

#225 skippyMoment

This just keeps getting better!

Before they behead him, they will probably subject him to torture by making him endure a lap dance from Barbie in a thong. Have they no shame?!

When do they threaten to behead that infidel slut, Barbie?

#223

Meanwhile Squidward figures out a way to finally get rid of SpongeBob.

Michael Moore and Alec Baldwin hold a press conference to express their concern for captured US troops.

231 Peacekeeper

#225 MSM is having a skippy moment

Hey! I resemble that remark! ;-)

...and in other news...

This is Dan Ra^ther, reporting from Bagdad, epicenter of the US's occupation of Iraq. Just hours ago, a team of Halliburton contractors were captured by bloodthirsty terroristsinsurgents. Their captors have commited to executing the hostages within 72 hours if coalition forces have not withdrawn from Iraq, leaving behind any remaining supplies of cigarettes, girly magazines, and cases of Yoo-Hoo chocolate beverage. We have footage, which we believe is authentic, of the contractors' spokesman relaying these terms. The quality of the tape is poor, but the way he stiffly shakes when speaking every word reveals the tension these men must be experiencing, his face locked in a brave, some might say defiant, grin. Our sources have tentatively identified the spokesman as one Bob The Builder^TM...

Another reason I think some clever person may have hacked the website - the last name listed under the surname 'Adam' in the San Francisco white pages is 'Adam, John.'

I do not assert this as fact. But there are so many clever people around...

***BREAKING NEWS***

Former test pilot and US Air Force Colonel Steve Austin testifies that President Bush was AWOL during National Guard Service.

"I was taking up an experimental aircraft on that fateful day, and a young Lt. Bush was assigned to follow my flight in his chase plane as is customary. When he didn't report for duty, the CO said 'That's just like him. Look, we've got to get this flight in while the weather's in our favor.' Remembered that, because it seemed like a bad omen at the time."

"In fact, it was. While all I remember is my plane cartwheeling and disentegrating down the runway while I shouted 'She's breaking up! She's breaking up!' the flight data recorders showed that the horizontal stabilizer had begun to tear away minutes ago... something even a halfway competent chase observer could have spotted, had he bothered to show up for duty."

"But this isn't supposed to be about me. The goverment was able to put me back together, and I was able to make a new life for myself doing odd jobs for various agencies. It's about how the American people deserve better, stronger, faster out of their elected leaders."
(AP)

#238 hm

I found that link on Netscrape's homepage... with CNN as the news source for the story.

More crack journalism at its finest! *cough, cough, gag*

I'm overhearing on the TV in the other room that that plane-shooting down video may be fake but accurate as well. Someone saying the missile shown in the video is not even designed to shoot down aircraft.

Help is on the way!

This is no laughing matter.

I for one do not want to see them behead Mr. Adams.

Polyethylene dust and chips everywhere . . . lots of coughing from the dust . . . that carcinogenic burning palstic smell . . .

It's gonna get ugly, I tell you.

Gotta get the MSM reports linked why they are still up:

CNN1

Tip to whomever thought this up.

#163 mesa, this thread is ripping along as expected so I missed your post:-) But a robot one.

This thread is going to be probably the most fun.

did Fox ever run it?

I think we should negotiate an exchange and exchange some Iraq prison dolls (in that Abu Ghraib pose) for GI Joe. We can meet at some bridge in neutral territory for the exchange, like the way the Soviets and Americans would exchange prisoners near Berlin. Maybe the UN can mediate, it will give Kofi Annan a chance to sound important again.

#235 Sarah D.

Good point.
Perhaps our suspects are those photographers who staged that "car bombing" the other day.

#35 rabid fanatic

Kos is going to really be pissed that this is a hoax

Screw him.

# 81 Abe Fromen

Is it true they won't release John Adam unless we agree to take Michael Moore back? I hope not, we sure don't want him either.

Don't know if anyone mentioned it yet, but Hannity was talking about this hoax a minute ago.

And at 5Pm EST NPR news has... DROPPED the hostage story from the line up.

OMG

They've captured black GI Joe.

Oh the humanity.

This is intoerable that the Bushchimphitler would allow this to happen.

Time for impeachment hearings.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

# 226 Roger:

Where are the AP reporters eyes? Or can't they see because they want the worst so badly?

Oh, the MSM sees alright. They see in a They Live kind of way. And they just will not put on the damn sunglasses.

NEWS FLASH: (AP) Reports that there is going to be a major rescue attempt to get John Adam out of the hands of the insurgents. Democrats create controversy with military hardware suppliers.

Resuce Operation

MSNBC finally showing GI Joe, LOL

It would be even funnier is the Arabic on the "resistance flag" actually said "Drink Coca Cola" or "Welcome American Liberators" or something like that...

It's OK. All this means is that it's time for a crossover.

Optimus Prime to the rescue!
(to the best of my knowledge, that's an actual picture from Iraq, not a photoshop)

I just knew that I would come here and find you people yipping and yeehawing at this event. What you fail to realize is that, even though the captured soldier may be just a doll (albeit, a violent one that further entrenches the warlike nature of Amerikkka into the minds of children) it does symbolize what the resistance truly feels regarding our soldiers. If it were not an "action" figure, how would you feel. You must not take everything at face value and learn to think critically to understand the situation that our once great nation is entangled in.

#246 Model4

Evidently you didnt go to the effort of writing all that up yourself, hence it MUST be true.
/

Don't mess with Texas.

If American infidels do not stop defiling the Islamic Holy city of Legoland, we will execute the American Stretch Armstrong.

BREAKING NEWS

AP: Baghdad

Reports coming in are indicating that rescue operations are under way for the captured American action figure. Columns of Mauler tanks have been seen entering Baghdad, supported from the air by allied SkyStrikers. When asked to comment, G.I. Joe spokesman Sgt. "Duke" refused to confirm earlier reports that special agent "Snakeyes" had already located the terrorist hideout.

Developing. . . .

For me the only downside to Rathergate was that I figur'd it would be a long time before MSM let itself get pantsed again. Happily this was not the case...

They're going to have to send in the Chief Rabbi to rescue him!

The terrorists are really at the bottom. No more willing martyrs, they have to use down syndrome kids. Now, they know they can't capture an ACTUAL soldier, so they have to fake one.

Are you sure this is an actual terorrists' webpage? I won't be surprised at all to find out the website belongs to a "previously unknown Islamic group" which, in reality, is a kid in his mom's basement in Cincinnati having some fun.

The real question:

Where is this guys body armour?

The Japanese coalition is well equipped.

Here come the might hoardes!

I PITY THE FOOL WHO MESSES WITH JOHN ADAM!

/Mr. T

I won't believe any of you until Senator Kennedy says it is a fake.

#275 earth2moonbat

'hordes' please!

So... I guess the subtext is that C.O.B.R.A. (a terrorist organization, remember?) and Al Qaeda have merged...

That'd be nice. Osama sure would look better with a blue hood over that ugly face of his: [Link: www.yojoe.com...]

#232 brianstien

Any lizards capable of translating?

Machine translation:

In the name of Allah the Beneficent the Merciful
As for if , you encountered who was irreligious then he beat the necks
He was sincere with the God ?
A thank God! alone his slave rendered the glory of his soldiers victorious oh! and a defeating the parties alone now then
Then maybe our strugglers will give power to the champions over Iraq's concubine ? They were in a position to the american retention of urine of the soldier ( the inlet of a condiment ) after the enemy of a number from his comrades and a retention of urine of the remainders
That by ear of the God we will begin to cut the throat of it if freing our captives doesn't become complete in prison forces of occupation and releasing the prisoners
That except then her maximum 72 concerned oneself with trifles be conscious from history of a spreading this statement and that not we will approach the God and this is being raised by paint infidel the miscreant and his becoming the fate of the hundreds is incumbent on his comrades in the armies of occupation
Besides the thank God! of the world Lord and the prayer and the peace are on honorable character Mohammad and on god He became a companion of him and he laid down a delivering

The places of the strugglers _ Iraq

#266 Evolutions Sneeze

You must not take everything at face value and learn to think critically to understand the situation that our once great nation is entangled in.

How right you are! Hey everybody - put all those GI Joe's and Barbies in lockdown (don't forget Skipper)...the jihadis are on their way!

#273 Skeptic

It was off a known jihadist website.

#276 The Pulchritudinous Patriot

LMAO!

#273 Skeptic

"Are you sure this is an actual terorrists' webpage? "

AP identified it as a site frequently used by ten year olds-er militant groups.

How long before the DU'rs say this was a set up by Rove?

#266 - Evolutions Eve

I'd be much more eloquent in this phrasing, only it's cold as hell outside, so I wish to emulate how that makes me feel: You're an idiot. With phrases like "once great nation" and "entrenches the warlike nature..." it appears as though you've lifted your morality lecture straight from the pages of Liberal Nuance for Dummies (now available in hardcover edition). Those on this thread are not making light of the situation's representation, but of the situation itself: that is, an anti-American, anti-war news agency got duped into running a bogus story...again! Lighten up, piss off, change your user-name to something that doesn't just SCREAM 14 year old warcraft fan, and try to subject yourself to the same standards you've tried to pass off on us. Mainly, think critically. Or, in your case, just think!

#44 runamuck

Thank God! I thought usually they have captives on their knees.

I have this faint childhood memory that dolls' knees never quite resembled real knees.
And having just come back from work and not having heard anything about this story before seeing the picture on LGF the first thing that struck me was, dude, whats up with the knees?

Smells like a Rove plot to me! AP do you need some help checking facts. Hire Dan the fact man Rather!

The AP is now reporting that John Adam was caught with his kung-fu grip hands all over a nice young Muslim girl named Razanne and this is what instigated the whole incident.

REPORT: (AP) "Little Green Footballs" webloger Charles Johnson defects to al-Qaeda.