The Huff Po Manifesto
Mon, Apr 2, 2007 at 4:04:26 pm PDT
You may have heard of Michelle Malkin’s John Doe Manifesto.
Well, here’s the other side at Bad Example (dead-on parody alert): The Huff Po Manifesto. (Hat tip: kyle_st.)
Dear Muslim Freedom Fighter/Patriot/Hero/Martyr/Brother,
You do not know me. But I act as lookout for you. You are my friend. And I am yours.
I am Huff Po.
I am flying my private plane. I am riding in my limousine. I have never ridden a bus. And the subway? Feh. That’s for the little people. I am living in a gated community. I always use the VIP entrance. We’ll probably never actually meet unless you’re holding the door for me.
I am your flag-burner. I am your effigy-hanger. I am your high-calorie hunger-striker. I am your unshaven documentary-maker.
I am Huff Po.
I will never forget the example of the thoughtless, disruptive passengers of United Airlines Flight 93, and how racist it was of them not to just sit back on 9/11 and let the brave Muslims land the plane safely after the pilot... fell unexpectedly ill.
I will never forget those stupid, racist passengers and crew members who tackled the unfairly-accused, alleged “al Qaeda shoe-bomber” Richard Reid on American Airlines Flight 63 before he had a chance to explain that he was just using that match to find a dropped contact lens in the darkness by his feet. Perfectly understandable. Happens all the time.
I will never forget the racist over-reacting of actor James Woods, who pointlessly pestered a stewardess, claiming that several Arab men sitting in his first-class cabin on an August 2001 flight were behaving strangely. Sure, the men turned out to be 9/11 hijackers on a test run, but come ON! It was only a TEST! Who freaks out over a TEST?
I will march with a "Bush = Hitler“ sign when Homeland Security officials ask me to ”report suspicious activity“. That’ll show those Brownshirts!
I will mock my local police department’s admonition ”If you see something, say something". Yeah, I see something... a Nazi goon in a blue uniform!
I am Huff Po.
