truck stop lot lizard

/classic

Possibly his best one yet. FTA
"For that kind of money, there's an expectation that these girls have been with Snoop Dogg or Charlie Sheen," said Preston. "But please -- Eliot Spitzer? When our members are spending five thousand dollars to snort cocaine off an ass, they want to know that ass has some standards."

“The big problem now is to keep this incident from threatening the whole expensive whore industry,” added Rizzo.

Uh oh.

Point taken: There's more honor and morality in this hooker than in the governor of New York.

$5 truck stop lot lizard in Kentucky.

Damn, they've gone up!

He did not mention if her long time pimp was at her side during the press conference.

and redeem myself in the eyes of the entire expensive whore community

hahahahaha

Devastating sally of wit!

Unhappy hooker?

Oh, dear.

I think I'll go make some midday food instead of reading the rest. Tongue in cheek has headed into icky territory, here.

By the way, is her political affiliation noted anywhere in this article? I say, BIAS!

too much!

$Like a Lizard said yesterday -- this is "the gift that just keeps on giving"

Has Spitzer actually resigned yet?

re: #6 bulwrk

He did not mention if her long time pimp was at her side during the press conference.

Well her pimp holds an Israeli passport, and I have it on good authority he was out looking for a costume for Purim.

Didn't see the D word in this story, either.
Has Iowahawk gone over to the dark side?

Kristen blew it.

The DNC could do quite well to hire Iowahawk to write position papers and the Democratic Platform, it would "energize the base".

re: #12 looking closely

Has Spitzer actually resigned yet?

He is a DEMOCRAT. Why would he do a silly thing like resign?

"black box" john tracking system

She wants to be a $5 lizard?
I say let her in.

re: #14 newsjunkie_ky

Didn't see the D word in this story, either.
Has Iowahawk gone over to the dark side?

I don't think we know "Kristen"'s party affiliation.

Lafester "Sly" Williams, president of the Big Dollar Pimp Association, said his group would comply with greater oversight and control systems.

Ha

Do I detect something like Pro-Profligate Wastrel bias?

/

Believe it or not, Tim Blair's reader ErnieG beat him to the punch (with the headline, anyway):

PROSTITUTE RESIGNS FROM ESCORT SERVICE IN DISGRACE

GMTA.

re: #21 taxfreekiller

Yeah, am watching CSPAN, they are working on budget stuff; overiding Bush's FISA veto. etc. There is some shit on the table right now.

re: #20 zmdavid

I don't think we know "Kristen"'s party affiliation.

Yes we do. If 'kristen' were a Republican, the word would be in the first paragraph. Since it is not mentioned, 'kristen' is a democrat, statistically speaking.

Iowahawk is most certainly a genius.

Hookers at truck stops? Say it ain't so.

re: #19 sparrowlake a $5 truck stop lot lizard? I don't think so! I mean we do have our standards to maintain!

Iowahawk's mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives!

Where does Kristen go to get her reputation back?

.

re: #27 zombie

Iowahawk is most certainly a some kind of damn genius.

/Fixed

I'm waiting for Cognito to come and defend this hooker.

Oh, wait. He only shills for the other whores: MSM.

re: #30 Fasternu426

DITTO!

Is this the satirical penis thread?

re: #31 Dad O' Blondes

Playboy Magazine, of course.

I'm reminded of satyr.

"Executive Concubine" magazine....hahahaha

On a more positive, but less funny note, France flies the Israeli flag on the Champs-Elysees.

re: #35 MandyManners

Go Mandy! Maybe this will be a long thread.

re: #32 rappmandu

Iowahawk is most certainly a some kind of damn genius.

/Fixed

Hmmm, where have I seen that before...?

;^)

Sigh, another media outlet that fails to mention the D word.

Just in case you're not laughing hard enough.....
Koskidz: What Spitzer means to the FISA Fight

My supposition is that the leading Democrats are more than aware of this - they know they've been monitored since 9/11. Now, what happens if telco immunity doesn't get put into the FISA bill? It means that the lawsuits against the telcos can go forward, which means that there's a good chance that the evidence will reveal the mother of all Watergate scandals by the Bush administration.

Which I'm betting, will reveal the blackmail of leading Democratic politicians, and most likely, the revelation of the secrets they wanted to hide.
....
See, the Spitzer scandal isn't about Spitzer. It's a warning shot, fired by the Bush Administration, across the bow of a Democratic Congress that had the audacity to exercise some of their Constitutional authority.

If she is willing to relocate, she can go to work for me and I'll only take 5% of her, ahem, service fee.
Capitalism works!

PTTCP

re: #39 Baier

On a more positive, but less funny note, France flies the Israeli flag on the Champs-Elysees.

Long live the French...for now.

If Iowahawk gets a Pulizer, then the Pulizer people should be the ones offering thanks.

re: #36 Ojoe

re: #31 Dad O' Blondes

Playboy Magazine, of course.

You may be joking, but I would not be the least bit surprised if she does.

Gotta go eat lunch - hope to see y'all later, if not, have a GREAT DAY!

Don't be so hard on Kristen. She's a moderate Democrat, after all.

re: #47 Spiny Norman

You may be joking, but I would not be the least bit surprised if she does.

I think she probably is working on a book or movie deal by this point.

re: #43 Killgore Trout

Just in case you're not laughing hard enough.....
Koskidz: What Spitzer means to the FISA Fight

They have medication for problems like this, when the brain overheats into a raging torrent of conspiratorial delusions.

re: #35 MandyManners

Is this the satirical penis thread?

Well it proves that the penis mightier.

re: #40 Ojoe

Does he hang to the...oh, never mind.

re: #50 JammieWearingFool

Don't be so hard on Kristen. She's a moderate Democrat, after all.

It was Spitzer who was the hard Democrat.

This prostitute has more integrity than the Democratic Governor of New York.

re: #31 Dad O' Blondes

Get elected to congress. Once in, she would realize her old profession would give her a better reputation.
Top

...and another: Bush Justice Dept. Hunting Democrats

The Bush mentality of going after anyone who doesn't walk in step has changed the Justice Department into the Department of Homeland Vengeance. Scott Horton, writing for Harpers magazine, has been looking at the shenanigans of the Bush Justice Department for some time now.

There are dozens of these.

re: #53 MagnaniomousCoward

Well it proves that the penis mightier.

Thinking with it never fails to get a man into a mess.

re: #43 Killgore Trout

Just in case you're not laughing hard enough.....
Koskidz: What Spitzer means to the FISA Fight

We knew that was coming. Hell, everybody knows that the whole "warrantless wiretap" / FISA / "domestic spying" kerfuffle had nothing to do with monitoring Islamic extemists, but to catch Democrats calling up hookers.

/

Oh, man, She's Got Issues.

/Eliot

re: #58 Killgore Trout

...and another: Bush Justice Dept. Hunting Democrats

There are dozens of these.

Nohting is ever anyone's fautl.

re: #60 Spiny Norman

We knew that was coming. Hell, everybody knows that the whole "warrantless wiretap" / FISA / "domestic spying" kerfuffle had nothing to do with monitoring Islamic extemists, but to catch Democrats calling up hookers.

/

Of course, its all so clear now.

re: #31 Dad O' Blondes

Well, there doctors that can make you a "technical" virgin again.. . .

Maybe the AP is taking notes. They only wait four paragraphs here before identifying Spitzer's party.

re: #58 Killgore Trout

...and another: Bush Justice Dept. Hunting Democrats

There are dozens of these.

Nutroots grasping at conspiratorial straws. They're doomed, the poor things.

re: #62 MandyManners

Socialized Blame!

re: #14 newsjunkie_ky,

Kristen is a Democrat? Figures.

My local newspaper broke the story today--on page four. Can you imagine where the story would have been showcased would this have been a republican Governor? Even a relatively obscure one from a smaller state?

re: #33 MandyManners

I'm waiting for Cognito to come and defend this hooker.

Oh, wait. He only shills for the other whores: MSM.

Didn't you work as one, when you were younger?

To avoid confusion: A journalist, I mean?

re: #67 Killgore Trout

Socialized Blame!

But, Lefty doesn't want free blame.

Many thanks to jcm, Killian Bundy and LoFlyer for the helpful tips about LGF they gave to this techno-challenged lady.
But, now that I'm a lot lizard, where do I sign up for my $5 ?

Since they didn't mention her party registration I take it "Kristen" is a Democrat. Or what?

Do hookers pay income tax?

re: #72 wolfie

Many thanks to jcm, Killian Bundy and LoFlyer for the helpful tips about LGF they gave to this techno-challenged lady.
But, now that I'm a lot lizard, where do I sign up for my $5 ?

Your Zionist check is in the mail.

re: #74 MandyManners

In Nevada.

re: #74 MandyManners

They're supposed to claim the tips.
/easy joke

re: #70 Cognito

Didn't you work as one, when you were younger?

To avoid confusion: A journalist, I mean?

Oh no he did-dnt

O/T

re: #67 Killgore Trout

I was on 99E a couple days back and saw this bumper sticker:

Darwin loves you

re: #79 rappmandu

Heh.

re: #76 Roentgen

In Nevada.

I'd forgotten about that.

re: #74 MandyManners

Do hookers pay income tax?

Bill Clinton didn't pay for sex, why does Spitzer have to pay for sex. Seems unfair somehow. Democrats should fix this.

re: #77 Killgore Trout

They're supposed to claim the tips.
/easy joke

Really easy.

I'm more interested in hearing how someone can charge $5000 per hour.

I'd want TWO Natalie Portmans for such an amount.

re: #70 Cognito

Your momma' taught me all I needed to know.

re: #82 DistantThunder

Bill Clinton didn't pay for sex, why does Spitzer have to pay for sex. Seems unfair somehow. Democrats should fix this.

Lefty just wants free...you know what.

re: #84 Spiritualized

I'm more interested in hearing how someone can charge $5000 per hour.

I'd want TWO Natalie Portmans for such an amount.

Gold-coated condoms?

France flies the Israeli flag on the Champs-Elysees.

Wow, I predict a 25% increase in "youth" car burnings tonight.

re: #62 MandyManners

Nohting is ever anyone's fautl.

Correct as usual. Nohting is ever anyone's fautl.

re: #85 MandyManners

Your momma' taught me all I needed to know.

lol, The gloves are off now! Go Mandy

not a peep from our alleged #9 yet, huh?

re: #53 MagnaniomousCoward

Well it proves that the penis mightier.

I'll take famous titties for $5500, Alex.

re: #82 DistantThunder,

It is the quality that leads to the price. One can't seriously think of spending $5,500 on Monica Blewhimsky. It doesn't pass the laugh test. Now a Kirsten, well, that is a different story.

re: #39 Baier

On a more positive, but less funny note, France flies the Israeli flag on the Champs-Elysees.

Israel has occupied France? When did this happen?

re: #13 Nevergiveup

Whats a Purim?

By the way here in Norway the papers weren't shy about naming the party affiliation in the opening paragraphs about this story.
The largest mostly-serious tabloid here (Closer to the Guardian than The Sun) even plastered a big picture of Hillary there: Sex-scandal shakes Hillary - again!

re: #39 Baier

On a more positive, but less funny note, France flies the Israeli flag on the Champs-Elysees.

They surrendered again?

In another shocking press conference today, The National Geographic Society announced that Eliot Spitzer's ego is now so huge, it qualifies for status as a continent. Of course, it will be a very temporary designation as his ego is presently in rapid "deflation mode".

re: #91 BabbaZee

Did she rub this on him?

re: #84 Spiritualized

Natalie Portman? Ewww!

My one friend is a huge Star-Trek fan, but he kind of "slipped to the Dark Side" when he saw Star Wars: Episode 1 in the theaters. He thought the Queen (Portman) was hot.

That all abruptly changed when Portman started shrilling for Kerry. The flesh cannot compensate for the mind (or lack thereof).

Yep --the gift that keeps on giving.

re: #52 DistantThunder

They have medication for problems like this, when the brain overheats into a raging torrent of conspiratorial delusions.

Thorazine?

re: #97 Squirrelguy

They surrendered again?

Is this to memorialize Merkaz HaRav?

re: #97 Squirrelguy

If cars are a daily target of the elusive "youths", I can't wait to hear how many of those Israeli flags are torn down and burned..

Although however put them up has some serious balls.

re: #56 Dahveed

This prostitute has more integrity than the Democratic Governor of New York.

You're right. They are both whores, but she admits it.

re: #84 Spiritualized

I'm more interested in hearing how someone can charge $5000 per hour.

I'd want TWO Natalie Portmans for such an amount.

Or a Natalie Portman and a Jessica Alba.

=^°

re: #94 Alouette

Israel has occupied France? When did this happen?

Apparently, a group of Israeli college kids were on spring break to see the Louvre & the French just surrendered preemptively.

re: #43 Killgore Trout

Just in case you're not laughing hard enough.....
Koskidz: What Spitzer means to the FISA Fight

Audacity!

re: #12 looking closely

Has Spitzer actually resigned yet?

If he hasn't resigned in four hours, call a physician immediately.

re: #10 cookielady

Oh, dear.

I think I'll go make some midday food instead of reading the rest. Tongue in cheek has headed into icky territory, here.

Ewwwww!

re: #100 mitthrawnurdo

I can't think of any celebrity hotties who aren't political moonbats. I'm sure they may be out there, I just can't think of any at the moment.

re: #106 Spiny Norman

I dunno who's more brainless: Portman or Alba.

re: #113 mitthrawnurdo

I dunno who's more brainless: Portman or Alba.

If you're paying more than $5,000 an hour for their sexual favors, I doubt stimulating political debate is on the menu...

;^)

re: #97 Squirrelguy

They surrendered again?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Hopefully, all prostitutes and their clients have properly functioning pre-frontal cortex's as the msm's latest research shows why powerful men and woman do shtoooopid things.....because they can and they're wired improperly....yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah that's the ticket....

/

re: #112 Spiny Norman

I
can't think of any celebrity hotties who aren't political moonbats. I'm
sure they may be out there, I just can't think of any at the moment.

Sela Ward, Jennifer Love Hewitt at the top of my head.

Fuh. Knee. Shit.

An idea to keep this thread going:

Compile a list of famous hotties attractive women who are also intellectually stimulating. Celebrity is a ke component here.

*key*

re: #118 BeerDrinking_VictoryMonkey

There's a start!

re: #120 Spiny Norman

I think there is actually a website.

re: #122 ggt

I think there is actually a website.

Ah, well...

Paula Abdul recently hosted a fund-raiser for the Israelis under seige in Sderot.

Hilarious!

Hawk, you should write for the Onion...

Britney Jean Spears?

/ducks

re: #84 Spiritualized

Does she pour hot grits down your pants first, and then tell you that you're stupid if you don't vote for Hillary? That would make it S&M and understandably more expensive.

Ha!I would pay hella more than $5,500 to NOT have sex with Hillary.

re: #70 Cognito

Didn't you work as one, when you were younger?

To avoid confusion: A journalist, I mean?

Jackass.

Update - news release from Kristen:
"I am sorry to say that I am resigning my position with Emporer, but I am happy to say that I will be running for a Senate seat in Massachusetts. I will be outlining my new foreign policy positions over the next few weeks. And I do have experience with 3am calls."

I was trying to figure out if the quotes were real or satricial. At least they call themselves whores.

"Further, I am announcing a book deal with Oprah with my new book, The Audacity of Ho's. Also, I will be giving a major oral speech at the Democratic Convention in Denver."

re: #133 faraway

"Further, I am announcing a book deal with Oprah with my new book, The Audacity of Ho's. Also, I will be giving a major oral speech at the Democratic Convention in Denver."

LOL Too funny!

I just spoke with a friend of mine who worked for the Emperor's Club escort service here in LA for about a year....She was not an escort, she arranged meetings between the men and the girls.

Found the job on Craig's List.

Thankfully she quit about a month ago.

She told me that some of her former co-workers have already received calls from the FBI.

She also told me that many of the customers are Arab businessmen....most of the rest are European businessmen.

re: #133 faraway

"Further, I am announcing a book deal with Oprah with my new book, The Audacity of Ho's. Also, I will be giving a major oral speech at the Democratic Convention in Denver."

OMG. TOO FUNNY!

re: #120 Spiny Norman

An idea to keep this thread going:

Compile a list of famous hotties attractive women who are also intellectually stimulating. Celebrity is a ke component here.

Uh.. Me. But I'm not famous.
/ducks

re: #74 MandyManners

Do hookers pay income tax?

More importantly. Do they vote?

'“I made a serious mistake and betrayed the trust of my co-workers, my many clients, and my pimps,” she said in a quiet voice cracking with emotion. “I will be taking a leave of absence...'

She can stay at my place 'til she gets back on her feet...

...For five grand a night.

First, it must be said, that Iowahawk is a master satirist. "That's gold, baby, gold!"

Second, I have read that Spitzer is Jewish. Please, God help us. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm so ashamed. I take these things personally.

Third, I can't understand why any man would want to go with a whore. Isn't it repulsive? If not, why not? I don't understand.

Fourth, how can any whore be worth $5,500? I'm intrigued by the whole expensive whore career path. Do you start out as a lot lizard and work your way up? No, that doesn't seem right . . . Do you graduate to the world of high whoredom from a modeling/acting career?

As usual, I'm confooozed.

re: #17 experiencedtraveller

He is a DEMOCRAT. Why would he do a silly thing like resign?

Though Bill Clinton really set the bar at a new low, complete and utter shamelessness isn't solely a Democratic problem (Craig. . .cough. . .cough).

Spitzer is toast. He's got no political capital and he's burned every bridge. Even the other Democrats hate him.

IMO *everyone* would be better off (that meaning himself, his family, the State of NY, and the Democrats) if he would take himself off the stage ASAP.

re: #54 MandyManners

Does he hang to the...oh, never mind.

He's a Democrat, isn't he? How else would he hang?

Oh, I forgot a question that has been burning in my mind for quite some time:

Fifth, how can those in the public eye be SO STUPID? Do they not know that eventually, they will be caught? What sort of mental illness or extreme stupidity or off-the-charts narcissism allows a president of the United States to get a blow job from a White House intern, for example?

Iowahawk is the man. I will "Pay up, sucka"

re: #143 American Jewess In Jerusalem

Oh, I forgot a question that has been burning in my mind for quite some time:

Fifth, how can those in the public eye be SO STUPID? Do they not know that eventually, they will be caught? What sort of mental illness or extreme stupidity or off-the-charts narcissism allows a president of the United States to get a blow job from a White House intern, for example?

Narcissim. . .yup.

I prefer the term "hubris" (EG, this isn't exactly a new phenomenon).

Its basically because they've gotten away with flaunting the rules unchecked for so long they feel invincible.

i met a guy once who said he was working on a book abt. "lot lizards" well, i love animals, so i was really intrigued by his reptilian subject. i said why are they called lot lizards. he informed me that they are prevalent at truck stops.
"wow, i said, "why would they hang out there. isn't that a rather harsh environment?"
"well. they do pretty good there." he told me.
i then asked him what the lot lizards look like. he said there were all types. well i wanted to explore that further because usually you don't get different species existing harmoniously side by side. he explained that they operate in different shifts. " so, some are nocturnal?" i asked him. he explained that when they are not at the truck stop, they live in trailers near by. i then asked him abt. the distances these lizards have to travel and the difficulty factor, ie. how many are killed on the road or are picked off by predators, etc.
he said it's worth it because they make a better living at the truck stop than most places around where they live. that's when i said, "oh, the truckers give them food". this guy looked at me and said, "they're pretty rough looking gals but i'm sure they do get some money".
"ooooh, " i said, "so you're NOT a biologist.

(i felt like such a dummy. it's amazing how long the conversation actually went on before i realized what he was talking abt.

re: #141 looking closely

Though Bill Clinton really set the bar at a new low, complete and utter shamelessness isn't solely a Democratic problem (Craig. . .cough. . .cough).

Spitzer is toast. He's got no political capital and he's burned every bridge. Even the other Democrats hate him.

IMO *everyone* would be better off (that meaning himself, his family, the State of NY, and the Democrats) if he would take himself off the stage ASAP.

I suspect the man's ego is such that he believes his political career can survive this. Is he up for re-election this year? If not, he just might be right. Barney Frank is still in office.

re: #140 American Jewess In Jerusalem

Spitzer is a shaigitz. Self confessed too, I believe.

I'm not taking any responsibility for him.

I understand what he did. Its a common human failure.

The issue with him is that he was such an aggressively sanctimonious prick, that everyone is gleeful at his fall.

re: #147 Spiny Norman

Well Barny is an Untouchable.

re: #146 nyc redneck

LOL! That is hilarious.

re: #149 Roger

Well Barny is an Untouchable.

An honorary Kennedy?

re: #30 Fasternu426

Iowahawk's mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives!

You talk purtier n a 2 doller whore.

re: #151 Spiny Norman

No, it is a term for guys [who may or may not be homosexual] who portray the homosexual lifestyle in the work or university place to define and run their own job description in so far as no one can dare complain or confront them without fear of being hammered by the management/administration for being a homophobe. Every one works around their turf. They are the new Untouchables.

The revelation brought an immediate and angry reaction from Greymont Preston IV, spokesman for the powerful consumer watchdog group Profligate Wastrels United.

That reminds me -- time to send in my dues..

re: #130 MrMom

Jackass.

Except, you know. She did. So it's not quite so tidy, flinging around terms like "whores."

re: #142 GGMac

He's a Democrat, isn't he? How else would he hang?

A democrat? I hadn't heard that!