Notice how the women don't need helmets - their hijab will protect them!!! And the banners... I wonder which one is the real "Ms. Iraq."

I am so scared. I mean, think what would happen if they could actually afford ammunition for those guns, not to mention plane tickets to fly themselves over here?

I wonder which one is the real "Ms. Iraq."

The one in the center wearing glasses, of course.

Those are not real suicide bomb belts -- they're the latest in Iraqi control top technology.

Is anyone else hoping for this Abaya Brigade to march into Riyadh? Just to see the muttawa'een reaction? "We got yer nightsticks right here, boys. Check out the extra clip!"

"Those are not real suicide bomb belts -- they're the latest in Iraqi control top technology."

Silly me, I didn't realize starving under sanctions made you fatter.

Caption for the top photo:

"Ahmed, be honest, do the extra 500 g of Semtex make my gut stick out?"

Between the fat fucks on top and the ugly bitches underneath I wonder how this country procreates. By Western standards, they should have a population of 6, one of them being a dog.

The belts would look much better if they were pulling each others detonator cords.

aaahaha, look how that one soldier is holding his gun.

Some highly trained military.

Another caption:

"Candle deliverers: prepared for the worst"

re#8

He used to be an Iraqi cheerleader. They don't let the women participate.

If they had ammunition, they's kill all their husbands.

Top caption: "Time to go secure the Food Court."

Bottom caption: "Oompa loompa, doopa-dee-doo."

Actually, they're interchangeable, now that I think of it.

And for the second one:

"Only the foolhardy crossed Saddam's ant farm"

Top craption: This belt is giving me heartburn.

Bottom craption: They make us march even when we're having our periods.

The women look like Stepford wives, and the men are just hilarious. I love how they're holding their guns. Those women would scare me without their guns.

Another one for the top pic:

"The Koopa-trooper strangled Daffy"

And yet another:

"Not even the ogres escaped conscription"

top caption:
This year, even the Gaza City Gay Pride Parade nearly turned violent when Muhammed accused his longtime companion Achmed of not properly matching his shoes to his cute little hat and suicide belt.

I kinda liked [Link: us.news1.yimg.com...] . It looks like Larry has his magazine under Curly's chin.

Here's another laugher: [Link: us.news2.yimg.com...] . These guys look a convention of accountants.

A goodie for the second one:

"The fool De Valera got his application muddled"

G-d, another for no.2:

"Acting casual, Tyrell hoped no-one would notice"

Bottom caption:

Vee da vomen of Iraq are marching for Viagra!

I look forward to this Suicide Squad's surrender to the Western media crews and subsequently detonating and ridding the airwaves of Geraldo Rivera and Cristiane Amampour.

Good God, look at the fat guy in profile in Photo 1. Ach du Lieber, it's Sgt. Schultz from "Hogan's Heroes!" "By Allah, I know nothing!"

Evan the Yahud: LOL! Yes, it does look like DeValera in drag!

Obviously, there's no physical fitness requirement to be in the Iraq Army. If some of these people lived in the States, they'd be suing MickeyD's.

The top picture makes me think of the politically uncorrect joke: The threw hand grenades at the . The pulled out the pins and threw them back.

Jeez I wish I had previewed that. I had stupidly enclosed phrases in angle brackets. Let's beat this dead horse one more time:

The [insert ethnic1 derogatory nickname here] threw hand grenades at the [ethnic2 nickname]. The [ethnic2 nicknames] pulled out the pins and threw them back.

Body Vibes Weight Loss Belt - Only $39.95! - As Seen on TV!

Just snap bodyvibes on, tighten your tummy, and you'll lose weight and get great abs!

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Donna #25:

"Obviously, there's no physical fitness requirement to be in the Iraq Army."

I've wondered that myself evrytime I see an Iraqi, Afghani, Pakistani, etc. soldier. Anyone believe any of these guys could do a 12K forced road march?...(Hump for you jarheads).

I haven't addressed Photo #2 yet. Time to get catty!

When you look at Photo 2, the whole idea of burkas suddenly makes sense.

And you can understand why the camels are so irresistable.

I'll go drink my dish of cream now.

Bill Herbert #12:

HAHAHAHAHA...
I can't look at the bottom pic without that song in my head. Thanks.

That top pic makes me wish someone had turned on a walkie-talkie. Not that the explosives or detonators were real, but we can dream.

And you really have to wonder about the mindset behind that idea. Our soldiers probably look at that and wonder which would stop first, the secondary explosions or the grease fires.

If you look at the two pictures together, it actually looks like the men are just hanging with their bro's, checking out the women as they march by (in the heat - all that clothing must be killer!), whistling and shouting things like "sexy mama" - you know like men do ;-)

Look at the guy on the right. He looks like he's seen something that kinda tickles his fancy.

Bottom picture:

Rajameer (pictured front row center) stares intently at her clenched fist, as if to will a clip into existance.

Okay, bottom picture caption:

"At the call of FIX BAYONETS, the women went to work with their scotch tape and plastic knives."

If you look at the two pictures together, it actually looks like the men are just hanging with their bro's, checking out the women as they march by (in the heat - all that clothing must be killer!), whistling and shouting things like "sexy mama" - you know like men do ;-)

Then I don't want to think about what the guy in the middle is about to do!

Little late on the proofreading...I meant 20K.

I don't mean to burst the "poke fun at Iraq" bubble, but every single person that you're looking at there wants you dead.

All of them.

Not that they can necessarily do it, but they want it.

Please that while they may not look like much, 19 men were able to kill over 3000 people by having iron determination and no fear of death.

Do not underestimate them just because they look ridiculous.

...which gives us more of an excuse to poke fun at them!

Seems to me there's a saying that the Devil hates to be laughed at.

There's a lot of evil over there, might as well laugh at it. I dare say they probably don't laugh much when they look at the 'evil' over here in the US.

J.

Bet they don't laugh much - period.

Verklampt is more like it.

My wife and I were listening to NPR the other day listening to some "expert" talk about how the war in Iraq will not be as easy as the Gulf War since the soldiers we'll be facing will be the elite troops of Iraq, and we'll be fighting in an urban environment. She turned and asked me "isn't he the same guy who was telling us a few months back about how difficult the Afgab winter wiull be for our troops, and how strong the afghan soldiers were going to be?"

Look at these uys. Boots unpolished, obese, uniforms wronkled...and this is at a military demonstration!!! Imagine a picture of our greenest privates standing around after a parade march. Now picture these guys. Who are you folks going to lay your money on in a street fight?

This cannot be an accurate representation of their military. Can it?

These pictures are a joke. I know - Saddam's really planning on lulling us into a false sense of security. So that we get overconfident. If not, words fail me.

They'd have us believe Iraq's militarymen are made up of a bunch of overweight, ill-disciplined middle-aged buffoons? And what's with the suicide bomb fashion accessory? Isn't the effectiveness of suicide bombings heavily dependent upon the element of surprise? That the victims don't know there's a bomb strapped to your waist? Our marines alone could take them out one-by-one from long range if they see them coming. Especially since they make such nice round targets.

And the women... Let me guess. Saddam's betting on the fact that we won't shoot women right? That us shooting women (regardless of the fact that they carry arms) would be bad PR on the international scene. Very crafty.

It says alot about a person who is willing to hide behind women and children and use them as shields.

To think, if they had been born in the US, maybe they'd be among our neighbors, friends. But now they have to die. A shame, but at this point we have little choice. Maybe their children will have the chance for a better future.

When did Mayor Daley's Ward Commiteemen become armed?

We can laugh at those assholes but remember what our Revolutionary Army looked like. And the Viet Cong.

Looks don't win wars. Determination and dedication win.

Top one:

"Have you seen Saddam's new play yet, Farooq?"
"Yes indeed, Ahmed. Whew, what a stinker. I only wish I had had this belt with me at the time."

Or:

"Have you seen Saddam's new play yet, Farooq?"
"Yes indeed, Ahmed. I laughed, I cried--I tell you, if there's only one play the mujahidin see this year, this should be it."

Or:

""Have you seen Saddam's new play yet, Farooq?"
"Yes indeed, Ahmed. Our leader has brilliantly exposed the treachery of the Jew infidel. And yet, the songs just didn't work."

I wonder how many Iraqi babies had to starve to death so the fearsome Iraqi elite troops could develop such massive bellies.

Donna V. Loved your 2 posts.
You're on a roll...

The women are all singing...

Vee are da champions.

Vee are da champions.

No time for Iraqi men

Cause vee are the champions... of da vorld...

"Abdulita, my push up bra is killing me!

Shhh. Soddom is vatching, keep marching, shake your booty, it makes his moustache quiver."

Smiling guy on the right: My wife thinks she can grow a mustache as nice as mine.

#38: In the Good News department, I don't believe they want us dead. More likely, they would like to see Saddam gone (a wish I hope will soon be granted), to put away the silly rifles and end the mandatory we-love-Saddam rallies, and try to build a better life.

The guys look like they're having a good ol time goofing around.

The girls look kind of annoyed- "can we go home yet?"

"Looks don't win wars. Determination and dedication win."

Howard,

You're quite correct. And don't forget Agincourt. But do these people look determined or dedicated to you? We absolutely shouldn't underestimate them and pretend this will be a cakewalk. But, at the heart of any ''victorious" nation, there needs to be the will to win - the belief that you're fighting for what you believe. The colonials beat the English and the English peasants beat the French army because they both wanted it more. Such was not the case in Vietnam - morale was low and public support wasn't there.

The average Iraqi just wants what everyone wants - to live their lives, be able to feed their children and prosper. Do you really think that deep in their hearts they believe Saddam has given or will give them this? They know what kind of person he is, and feel no loyalty towards him. That's why when revolutions occur, dictatorial regimes such as these (USSR, Eastern Europe, etc) topple so quickly. People want to be FREE to live their lives, no matter who offers it.

It's very rare for the 'underdogs' to defeat big, disciplined militaries. In cases such as America and Agincourt, these people had what I think the Iraqis lack - something worthwhile to fight for.

Oh my. That's pretty funny. Sad. Very sad. But funny. The top one looks like something out of an Ed Wood movie. (Like in Plan 9, when the police detective scratches himself with his gun...)

Still, it's also very very educational. How is it Iraq is supposed to be so food poor, yet all the men are fat? Even some of the women are. The one on the bottom left has a triple chin.

I doubt anyone of them really wants Saddam gone though. While most don't seem to have ammo, some of those with guns do. If Saddam were really unpopular, having an armed population would be very problematic.

I dunno, Jeremy, I will never shake the picture of their oh-so-tough troops, on their knees kissing our guys' hands, in the middle of the desert in Gulf War I. While that could mean a lot of things (and loving Americans may not be at the top of the list), I suspect these folks tend to be much more afraid of (and much more hateful of) their own "leaders" than of us, their supposed enemies.

Let's give these some honest captions:

#1: "Just give me a bomb and I'll die to embrace my leader Saddam."

#2: "Please give us ammo so we can shoot the great evil Saddam."

We can laugh at those assholes but remember what our Revolutionary Army looked like. And the Viet Cong.

Hold on a second. The Viet Cong ceased to be a fighting force after the Tet Offensive, which they lost, massively. The NVA took over the war in the south after that (they had too, because the VC was decimated) and they were not guerillas.

And, while the American Revolutionary Army may have started out as rag-tag militias, it certainly didn't stay that way. Indeed, in the last years of the war our forces looked, and fought, like a typical western army of the time.

While #46 (Howard) does have a point about dedication and determination, that's not what wins wars. If it was the Japanese would have won, the Zulus would have won, the Aztecs would have won, etc., etc. It takes much more than that, disclipline for one.

And consider this: these guys are not guerillas, they are (apparently) uniformed soldiers at a public event. If this is any indication of Saddam's forces they are clearly an undisciplined and poorly trained lot. In other words, they're pretty much like the guys we fought in 1991.

We'll also be dedicated and determined when we go into to this war. But we'll bring a lot more than that with us.

"When you look at Photo 2, the whole idea of burkas suddenly makes sense.

"And you can understand why the camels are so irresistable."

Careful. If we grabbed a large collection of US women and forced 'em into a military march, then took a picture capturing a random 20 or so, would the results be very different? Keep in mind, as you answer, that the US women would probably NOT be partially concealed by abayas.

For the most part, I doubt that the results would resemble Tomb Raider or Witchblade :-/

I thought a million Iraqis had starved to death because of our sanctions. Now it turns out they were apparently eaten by the Butterball detachment of the elite Bottle-Rocket Brigade.

Before you scoff at them, though, consider this: A couple of years ago, in Florence, Oregon, the community decided to get rid of a beached whale by literally dynamiting it out of existence. They stuffed cases of TNT under the carcass, moved everybody back a quarter of a mile, and set it off.

Ill-prepared were they for the deluge of blood and oil that poured down upon them, even at that great distance. Worse yet, huge slabs of blubber fell from the sky, right into the midst of the terror-stricken townsfolk. One of them splunked down on top of a car and dented the roof right to the floorboards. Perhaps the worst part of it was the horrific stench, which lingered for months.

Now imagine five thousand Iraqi Homer Simpsons, festooned in dynamite, all detonating simultaneously on the battlefield with a horrible wet shlooping sound. True, the Abrams tank is impervious to high-velocity cellulite, but many of our men will be forced to vomit. Others will smell funny for days afterwards. Psychological casualties from UWE (Unbelievably Weird Experience) are possible.

The women's rifles don't seem to be well maintained. In addition there are a lot of different models of gun there or some of the weapons are missing pieces.

Any real weapons expert out there who can comment on this?

You will also noice that for the guys the uniforms are not uniform.

BTW, I wonder what the round badges are on their uniforms. Is it a button that says "Pull my finger"?

And I guess when you're covered in dynamite, nobody makes you blouse your boots.

LOL Glen#59, I remember downloading a news clip of that whale dynamiting, unfortunately that was five years ago and I only had a 1.5GB hard drive...so I didn't keep it :-(

Congratulations,

LGF just discovered conclusive evidence that Saddam is into the genetic manipulation business. Where else could he have found such an ugly bunch of losers ?

A possible explanation for the looks of the women is that the Iraqi army is inspired by the Soviets, who apply mass rape as a war strategy. This is obviously a counter-measure.

I believe many of you have misinterpreted these photos as I believe Sadam is trying to demonstrate his willingness to sacrifice every Iraqi man, women and child to protect his regime. The reason these people don’t look like soldiers is because they are not. I imagine most of them are people who only hope to survive the great apocalypse that the madman Hussein has brought upon them. There is no one more certain of the need to liberate Iraq than myself (I would throw in Iran, Saudi Arabia and Syria in the mix as well), but we shouldn’t forget that the people who will die in these wars will be primarily civilians sacrificed by the incredible evil of their tyrannical leaders.

Good moring. Wow what a way to wake up!

Where to start?

They are named the Republican Guard because they are the size of elephants.

That is not dynamite on their belts, but merely their spare tampons.

You coukd fit about ten Viet Kong into their uniforms, does that mean they are ten-times more fearsome?

The women are really Ninja warriors.

Those cruel sanctions are starving the Iraqis . . . oh, never mind.

the only thing that is sad about these pictures is that saddam is willing to fight to the very last dead iraqi - there is no way that these guys (or woman) are part of anything but iraqi's butterball and ugly troops: fat clueless men, wearing WWII era helmets carrying chinese made AK's, no slings and the woman don't even have clips in their guns (and i doubt they would know how to operate the gun anyways).

there is no doubt in my mind within 3 days (that is 72 hours folks) saddam will be dead, baghdad will be in ruins, and the entire iraqi army (including the famed iraqi guard) will have thrown down their weapons.

this ain't no vietnam (which we could have easily won), this ain't no iwo jima (which we did win), this is a a cake walk.

the only problem with winning this war so fast and overwhelmingly is that our "allies" may have a difficult time getting into iraq to pretend like they were with us from the beginning.

i could see the operation as follows: US troops attack from the south (quattar and kuwait) and north (turkey, etc) and the IDA covers the western block to take out any scuds brought out to attack israel, as well as general western air support. with iraqi national counter forces in the NE and SE it will get very ugly for our enemies.

Speaking of Iraq and satire, Mark Steyn has penned another masterstroke:

[Link: www.spectator.co.uk...]

RE: post #46,
Howard we should remember how we beat the viet-cong and our own people f'd us over. The british, germans and American Indians all had determination...

As to the first photo, perhaps thats how saddam is going to deal with all those pesky prisoners we took...

#38: I don't mean to burst the "poke fun at Iraq" bubble, but every single person that you're looking at there wants you dead.

All of them.

I don't necessarily agree with this. Certainly, there are many who want the extinction of all infidels. But these guys, I'd bet they'd be just as happy to surrender and get on with a new regime.

Look, the Iraqi military was much better equipped and more capable in 1991 than it is in 2002. And back then, we saw Iraqi soldiers surrendering to unmanned drone planes and Western reporters by the hundreds! They couldn't wait to lay down their arms!

And consider this: these guys are not guerillas, they are (apparently) uniformed soldiers at a public event.

I believe they're the "Palestine Militia", which is supposed to march over to Israel and wipe out the Jews. Thus, the "suicide" belts.

Since they are a militia, they're physical condition doesn't necessarily reflect the state of Iraq's army. However, I'd bet any militia you raised in the US would have more sense than to hold a rifle by the business end or lean on their rifle. Let alone strap even fake plastique around their wastes.

Glen post #59

The Exploding Whale video can be found at [Link: www.perp.com...]

Sorry, I don't know much about HTML tags...

We should rename this thread "We're laughing at them", a nice back-at-ya to last week's Paleostinian's "they're laughing at us" thread.

He who laughs last, laughs best.

zulubady (#33)

You are a wicked, wicked woman! :-)

Just Lurking thanks for the video :).

BTW, I suspect that the second photo is not authentic, but is in fact a vidcap from an old "Jane Fonda Workout" video. The women depicted are actually members of a NOW chapter in Madison, Wisconsin.

Here we see Saddam's true genius. I mean, what fools the Palestinans have been, relying on skinny kids with 28 in waists. Saddam's elite splodydopes in that first picture have room for at least twice the explosives around their massive guts.

The women in the second picture are their wives, which explains why the men volunteered for suicide duty.

"Hey Abdul, do you think we can get our own sitcom of FOX? I hear they're working on a pilot called Suicide Squad starring Porky The Pig".

(Ladies)

Hi ho Hi ho a marching vee shall go. Look over there, our fat, lazy muslim brethern. Throw away da rifles, lets do da hanky panky. 3 girls (cows) for every boy (elephant).

That top photo could lead to a "no quarter" order in regard to any Iraqi's attemting to surrender to an invasion force. Especially if some idiot actually blows himself up after "surrendering", knowing that will be more effective in killing infidels then shooting at them without any kind of training.

Frankly, I could do without the snide remarks about people's looks; comments like this manage to be both unpleasant and stupid.

What's much more interesting is the handling of weapons that's shown. The men seem to have no idea how to handle rifles - I mean, less idea that someone in his first week of training ought to have. The women, Charles points out, aren't even actually armed (a rifle makes a poor club, and that's all one is good for without ammunition).

These aren't soldiers. They aren't even irregular militia. In no way are these people an even slightly effective fighting force. So what the fuck is the deal?

Jeanne: I think when the attack does come, it will be over sooner (and with a lot less killing) than anybody thinks. In Gulf War One, the Iraqi "troops" were surrendering to old tires, signposts, newspeople, anything. And from the looks of these photos we're in for a repeat.

Those women seem absolutely miserable; a couple of them look like they're on the verge of tears. Only the true believer in the front is doing her goose step properly.

The guys, on the other hand, are having a grand old time, leaning on the barrels of their rifles as if they were walking canes. The one at front left doesn't need the suicide belt, though. If he eats one more tiny wafer, he'll explode like Mr. Creosote.

I really think we may be about to witness the biggest military rout and the quickest mass surrender in history.

Jeanne #80

The deal is typical Arab posturing. As one of the previous posters and you yourself pointed out these are not regular army troops, they are Saddam's way of saying to us that he's turning all of Iraq into one giant armed camp and every single adult will fight.

To which I reply- who cares? We all remember the grandiose threats made by Saddam before the first Gulf War , i.e. "the Mother of all Battles" and" America should prepare many body bags".

That's the way Arabs talk.

The way Americans talk is "Talk softly and carry a big stick". And we know what turned out to be nothing but bullshit and what turned out to be real and what were the results.

Before the first Gulf War started there was a lot of talk about the "elite" Republican Guard and worried talk about how they would fight, even here in Israel. At the time I remember how a former Chief of Staff of the IDF , Rafael Eitan (who is known for being very taciturn) responded to a question by the anchor of the television news who was worried by the Republican Guard's vaunted fighting abilities. When asked what the difference was between the regular Iraqi army and the "elite Republican Guard" Eitan replied "the uniforms".

On another thread I saw how some posters were worried about the difficulties involved in taking on Iraq and later maybe Iran , Syria and Saudi Arabia.

To those people I would suggest reading up about the battle for Okinawa during WWII, the ferocity of the battles, the determination of both the Japanese defenders and the American attackers, and the incredible casualties taken by both sides.

There is no Arab army that has the incredible determination that those U.S. Marines had. Today's American fighting forces are better trained and better equipped than those Marines were. The only question is whether they are as determined. I have no doubt ,especially after 9/11, that today's American fighting man is as determined as his forebears of the "Greatest Generation".

The result will be that the U.S. armed services will grind up any Arab or Iranian army that faces it into so much hamburger meat.

I almost feel sorry for them.

Charles, don't be so sure! As soon as the war starts Israel will be the recipient of Scud attacks, this time loaded with chemical or biological waepons. That is my worry, no matter how fat and pathetic their soldiers are.

Israel has lost enough life.

And their lives have been made miserable. Israel's economy sucks as more & more tourists stay away and Saddam's finger is surely on the scud button.

So when the strike against Iraq finally does occur (I still have my doubts...Bush also talks out of both sides of his mouth) it better be long, hard and mean so that not one scud has a chance of being fired into Israel. That's all.

Bossman #83

I can appreciate your sentiments. I live in Tel-Aviv ( it's 11:47 p.m. Saturday night here, I've had a long day and I have to leave the board soon.)

I was here during the first Gulf War and like everyone else spent time in the "sealed room" with a gas mask. A Scud fell a couple of hundred meters from where I lived at the time but luckily didn't explode.

It's because of that, that I feel there is no choice but to take on Saddam Hussein, even if we have to take some hits. It would have been better if he'd been taken out in 1991, but if the US waits much longer he could develop nuclear weapons and then it's a whole other story.

The amateurs in these pictures are LOSERS. In Spanglish, los Loseros. Any who do not cravenly surrender are looking at maximum ass-kickage, but that's their problem, isn't it?

I KNOW that we have professionals in our armed forces, unlike the amateurs that Iraq hopes to field against us. Looking at pictures like these helps me to confidently predict that we WILL win this war. As for these poor dupes, I am less sanguine about their chances to see another new year...

By the way, Seth (#84), my guess is that we'll be taking on the Iraqis before they play the national anthem for the first game of the ALCS or NLCS. That's the baseball playoffs at the beginning of October, for non-Americans. And again, that's assuming no baseball strike...

re#84 Seth

I agree with you totally, Saddam should have been taken out in 1991. Why wasn't he? That question has gone unanswered for years. Lots of speculation... but what was the real reason?

I think the Bush family oil cartel had something to do with it. That's why I don't place too much faith in the son. Bush Jr. I pray I'm wrong and that that bastard Soddom is gone in a bolt of lightening. Maybe the son can redeem his father
and turn Soddom into the "holey" ghost.

Gee, can't you do better than those pictures? How about some babies pulled out of incubators and left on the floor to die? Heehee.

The propaganda for this war is really third rate.

It's important never to confuse a dictator's ability to gather up a mass of people for a "defiant photo-op" with the actual feelings of the populace.

I can still remember the days shortly after the NYT posted the first rumblings of a plan to attack Iraq - the Iraqi shopkeeper across the street was poring over the National Post that day reading up on it.

Despite his scepticism that the US would actually do anything about Iraq - I suppose I granted him that what with the experience of '91 - he was certainly eager to see Saddam go, and was supportive of action to get rid of him.

My take on Iraq is that unlike many of the Gulf States, it's the sort of place where a pro-west democracy probably has the best chance of sticking. The populace there hasn't been poisoned with Islamism in the same way most surrounding states have been. And the living, breathing object lesson of the misery of dictatorial rule has probably innoculated the population against a tendency back towards more of the same, in the short term.

The US will have a window of opportunity to put some order back into the place, and the fact that the country has the oil it has - an instant industry of sorts that can be "turned back on" in a relatively short time - should give the population something to get them back on their feet relatively quickly.

-m

Caption:

"DOES THIS BELT MAKE ME LOOK FAT ?"

Personally speaking, I'd like to see Ladbroke's or some other bettor take bets on the upcoming GWII. I wonder what the odds would look like (Iraq as a 50-1 longshot? Talk amongst yourselves).

I'm not trying to be a sick puppy or anything, but I think that's the best way to quantify the magnitude of the upcoming rout.

Bossman #87

Exactly how much money did the oil cartels make off of Iraq since the Gulf War?

Now try to tell me how they would NOT have made as much with a friendlier regime in Baghdad.

I think the real reason has more to do with political necessity than oil. But then, conspiracy theories are always sexier then the truth.

People, people...really now. Those are NOT bomb belts.

[Link: www.toneatronic.com...]

If they're low on money, they should really think about selling those guns...some of them look like antiques.

Be all that you can be!

Also, I'm not sure, but in the bottom picture, I believe I've spotted a celebrity. The one with the glasses is that guy on top of the world trade tower. The ammo must be in his backpack.

First Photo:

Those aren't suicide belts, they're combat catheters...so they don't wet themselves when the fighting starts. That's why all the Republican Guards threw up their hands in Desert Storm.

Second Photo:
Ahmed, here come your 72 virgins!

Yes, fearsome. Bright, orange sash = target!

OK, let's stop picking on the looks of these guys and gals. If you went to virtually any shopping mall in America, took a handful of women, removed all their makeup, put back all hair that so much time and money is spent removing, then stuck them out in the middle of the summer heat in all those clothes and headcoverings, we would not look much better.
In addition, have you looked at the waistline of the average American man lately? Not too pretty...
While it is easy to sit here in comfort making fun of how these poor people look, remember that they, too, are trying to survive and raise their families under a "Fearless Leader" with a band of thugs that is not afraid to sacrifice every single civilian to save their own skins.
What a life. I would look depressed, too...

Take a look at the foot gear. They are wearing dress shoes and not boots. The rifles lack slings. The costumes lack insignia. The helmets are out of date and some lack chin straps. That circular badge moves around on the uniform. The sewing of the pocket flaps varies from shirt to shirt.

This is a bunch of guys standing around wearing costumes. They aren't military.

Re: #100

If you are right, then again, poor things...I've seen community theatre productions with better costumes.
I would be both embarrassed and depressed if I had to appear in public in those "costumes."

1st Photo: Abdullah! Put that cigarette out, now! KA-BOOOM!!!

2nd Photo: Oh Well, at least it gets us out of the house awhile.

My wife's family is Iraqi, and I have an explanation for the marching women with unloaded weapons. These women were pulled off the street by police, handed empty rifles, and forced to stage these photos. What you don't see outside the frame of the picture is police holding (loaded) guns on the women and "encouraging" them to march.

The rifles appear to be the standard surplus Soviet AK-47 complete to the red Bakelite stocks and grips, exported by the gazillion from the USSR in the last 50 years. No way to tell what kind of shape they're in without having one in hand to look over. Like all firearms, they would certainly be more useful if they were loaded. Not even a good threat without a magazine, except for the bayonets on some of them (they're folded back, folks, not sticking out, but they're there). The original UP caption describes the men as "A group of Ba'th party soldiers." The women are described simply as "Iraqi women soldiers."

Says more about the Iraqi women "soldiers" we see here that they're not even trusted with magazines, much less the ammo to put in them. At least the men got mags.

"I ate a baby!"

some of those (ladies) look like they kill us with uglyness.
harry

Picture #1: The WB network holds a photo op for the remake of "The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo."

Picture #2: Also slated for the WB this fall: a multicultural remake of "Private Benjamin."

That's the difference...if our Army looked like that, we WOULD be making fun of them.

If THEY make fun of the home team, they get tortured to death.

Ooompa Loompa...ROFL!

Here's a couple:

#1

I see the two at the ends have gotten their Gassing Ethnic Minority Merit Badges.

#2

The woman at the right end of the front rank just realized she left the hummus out.

Photo #2: "Mohammed Atta is dismayed when introduced to his 72 IRANIAN virgins."
"But ... I wanted CALIFORNIANS!!! Or Hooter's Girls!!"

Wassup here? The supposedly untrained women handle those AK's better than the supposedly trained men. I know! These guys are the survivors of Desert Storm! They try to surrender this time...BOOM!

Maybe the (ahem) ladies just have Kalifornia-approved 5-round clips. :(

Has anyone here ever noticed that every arab army seems to use the ak-47 and no two soldiers ever seem to have the same model weapon. ie. different buttstocks, pistol grips, barrels, etc. How awesome can the Iraqi military be when it can't even arm it's soldiers with basic weapon standards in mind. Or maybe it's the fact that it is basic. Jeeez! I bet their logistics support and command and control are just as good!

Actually, these guys in the top remind me of those civil war reenactors. Maybe they're just reenacting the Gulf War. Only this time, they made sure they ate before they went into battle.

None of those weapons appear to be loaded, probably for good reason. The regular army dudes who are doubtless standing out of the picture, holding loaded weapons to ensure these "volunteers" yield a good photo op are afraid that their fellow citizens would turn on them.

The men and women are pathetic pawns and cannon fodder. They'll be the first to die when Saddam hides his crack troops in civilian housing, schools and hospitals when the U.S. military comes a callin'.

And they know it too. Saddam's pretty good about putting on shows and these poor slobs are just going through the motions.

There's a reason that Saddam sleeps in a different hidey hole every night, and it's not because he's afraid of a SEAL team dropping in, it's because he's afraid of his own people.

#1.

Guy in the middle holding his gut: "I hope they won't realize these are candy bars connected with some wire... I feel sick.. I ate too many of them.."

#2

Lady on the bottom left: "Ok.. which one of y'all bitches farted!?"

First Iraqi soldier: "Does this suicide bomb belt make me look fat?"

Second Iraqi soldier: "No, but your face does."

Why do I keep thinking of Lemmings - where all the lemmings go 'pop' when you nuke them :-)
pop pop pop pop...

Advise to Allies: Shoot for the belly button.

Actually, aside from the lack of rank (which might just indicate a bunch of privates -- always a popular choice for dog-and-pony shows) and the absence of web gear (frequently omitted in PR shots), these guys look like your typical Arab army. Mismatched gear, sloppy uniforms, poor weapons handling skills, etc. are all par for most Third World militaries.

As to the footwear (which David #100 said are dress shoes), they look like standard jackboots, albeit unbloused. Yes, Virginia, many armies still issue jackboots -- they're simple and cheap. Tubbo in the center (AK on his shoulder like Granddaddy's shotgun) has breaks in his trousers indicative of wearing jackboots (slight break below the knee, large break well above the ankle).

Even if these guys are "Party militia" (such as the Nazi SA), the photo isn't necessarily a denial of the poor state of the Iraqi Army -- they looked much like this in 1990. Remember, even the vaunted Republican Guard issued squad support weapons at 1/3 the Soviet density (which is about 1/2 the US density -- which meant the Iraqis had machineguns & antitank weapons at 1/6 US levels).

The Iraqi infantryman is (at best) a hideous joke, their armor force is ineptly handled and poorly maintained, and their aviation assets are not only substandard (by NATO, or even Cold War Warsaw Pact standards), they are minimal. US and UK forces are unbelievably superior in terms of training, not to mention equipment, and more importantly-- logistics, communications, and control. The best Iraqi troop are their Air Defence forces -- which have proven to be utterly incompetant against UN air patrols.

Even American National Guard ("Territorials" to you UK readers - "One weekend a month, two weeks a year") "light" ("leg-mobile") infantry are as highly trained and capable in their specialties as most nation's Special Operations troops. (Reviews of Soviet Spetnaz operations in Afghanistan, for example, are reminiscient of typical operations regularly practiced by the Virginia National Guard. During Gulf War I, the US Air Force preferred operating in National Guard artillery umbrellas, as opposed to Regular Army units doing the same thing. The thing about the National Guard is that it (unlike most nation's part time soldiers) contains a high level of active duty veterans, and soldiers work together 4, 6, 10 years in the same teams. This adds up to an awesome "real world", as opposed to "photo op" capability.

Will a ground war to subjegate Iraq be a cakewalk? Sort of -- it is certainly an easier operation than the Pusan Breakout.

Will casualties be low? Probably not in comparison to Grenada or GWI -- we might face up to a 2% - 5% total casualty rate, IF Iraq does not utilize nuclear weapons (which is the point in going in now, so they haven't had time to get them operational).

These poor miserable saps.

They are sooo screwed. The sad thing is, they HAVE to know it too.

Well, at least after we've plowed them, their fellow hummus eating surrender monkeys, and fatboy himself under the sand, the nex generation will finally be able to live in a brand-spanking new American Built arab nation worthy of the name.

After all, we rebuilt Japan & Germany, and turned them into pretty decent (if still odd) places. If we can do that with Nazis & Kamikazes, we should be able to fix up the Iraqi neighborhood without too much hassle.

Not that they'll be any more greatful than the Europeans or Japanese have been mind you.

Nice Kalashnikov rifles. Its the threat of these people/guns that gives rise for socialist politicians to close that imaginary gun show "loophole" in the USA, impeding citizen access to self defense weapons. I wonder how many of these potential enemy Iraqis purchased their cheap rifles at expensive American gun shows? Hmmm? Buy an AR-15. The best HomeLand Defense!

Nice Kalashnikov rifles. Its the threat of these people/guns that gives rise for socialist politicians to close that imaginary gun show "loophole" in the USA, impeding citizen access to self defense weapons. I wonder how many of these potential enemy Iraqis purchased their cheap rifles at expensive American gun shows? Hmmm? Buy an AR-15. The best HomeLand Defense!

Those fat slobs shoud just push each others detonator. By the time they run their fat pathetic you know what within 100 meters of a U.S. troop they will either have a bullet in their head or they will be too tired after running 2 feet. Therefore they should all huddle together and do the world a favor...KA-BOOM.

The women have a better chance than the men but they are so ugly we would do them a favor by throwing lead down range. The Do-Rags they have on their heads doubles as their first aid kits. It will keep their brains in when they explode from all the bombs and bullets we send.

Pic 1- I really like these new Hussein Model 6120 cell phones but these battery packs are a killer.

Pic-2 Who farted?

Dear Iraqi People,
If this is your army...be afraid...be VERY afraid!
-U.S.A.

I think you all are real idiots and hope like hell you aren't defending our country! You make it sound like they are nothing to worry about. Have you forgotten September 11? They sure made Americans look pretty stupid! And we are by the likes of all of you!

Their fellow citizens probably sit back at the television and have a good laugh... just like when we watch the Keystone Cops.

REF: ranzboys #126

The thing that people seem to forget is that the September 11th attack was, in a military sense, a failure. Over 50,000 people targeted in New York alone, less than 4,000 killed. The Pentagon missed perhaps 72 hours of capability.

In exchange, the United States military was brought into play, enabling the effective military destruction of both the al Qaeda safe zone and the Taliban regeme in weeks. In all likelyhood, this will end up costing both the Ba'ath Party (i.e., Saddam's family) their handle on Iraq and the PLO/Palestinian Authority it's hold on home rule in Occupied Jordan (that being who Israel took the West Bank from, not some fictional Palestinian government).

September 11th will most likely turn out to be the Pearl Harbor of Islamic Jihadists. . . Pearl Harbor looked real good to the Japanese in mid-1942, but by August 1945, it was all over -- for them as well as Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy.

As far as how much we have to fear these jerks, considering what happened on September 11th, remember the following:

What they did prove is that it is possible for a cracked-out, shivering junkie can succeed in mugging an unarmed victim or shooting the best cop by surprise in the back of the head with a cheap throw-away gun. Does this mean that junkies like that are going to be able to destroy the police department and/or city population? Nope.

These jerks remind me of the blowhard, blustery outbursts we always have heard from the Arab nuts (paraphrased) -

"We will destroy Israel within days, and force the Jews into the sea!" (1947/1956/1967/1973, entire Arab world)

"This is a Line of Death. You cross it, you die!" (1986, Libya)

"This will be the Mother of All Battles!" (1990, Iraq)

"If the Americans enter Afghanistan, they will be killed." (Afghanistan & others, 2001)