The Pretty American

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At the New England Republican, here are some helpful tips for avoiding an international incident when traveling in Europe: The Pretty American.

* Foreigners have a great sense of humor. In the spirit of inclusiveness, try to tell as many American jokes as you can about their particular ethnic or national group. You’ll have a great time together enjoying a hearty laugh when you explain “Estonian women don’t use them because it chips their teeth!”

* Another humourous gambit is doing an ethnic “impression” to show your hosts how their country and countrymen are portrayed in America. You might consider acting out a skit involving Pepe Le Pue, Commandant Klink (Hogan!! shake fist) the Frito Bandito, Boris Badinov or Jacques Chirac, for example.

* In the spirit of international brotherhood and comraderie, point out how things in the United States are much like the things in the country you are visiting, except ours are usually bigger, nicer, newer and cleaner. Remark on how cool it will be when they knock down all these useless old hovels and put up a sparkling new Wal-Mart.

* In an effort to improve communication, adopt an accent copying the people you meet, even if you are still speaking English. Speaking very loudly also helps.

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Last updated: 2023-04-04 11:11 am PDT
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