Back Off Man, I’m a Credentialed Automotive Journalist - Iowahawk at the car show!
” ‘uhnt uhnt uhnt…’
What’s that intoxicating beat? The pulsating techno draws us hither to the urban global youth downtown hipster section of the show. Careful research by industry marketing experts shows that most car consumers of the future will be experimental snowboarding graffiti performance artists and Scando-Asian ecoblogging hiphop DJs. This emerging segment of Point Break Renaissance Dudes demand rakish carbon-neutral econoboxes, powered by the internet, with plenty of room for DJ gear and cruelty-free hemp skullcaps. The industry has responded with entire marques like Mini and Scion, individually customizable to give you that hip now street cred! Case in point: these rat rod tattoo inspired black primer transpo-pods…”
Ladies and gentlemen, we share this planet with a personage for whom words like “exalted” and “transcendant” might barely trace the shadows of his footprints. Iowahawk. The greatest exception to every notion of “normal” intellect!