It’s easy to spot a supporter of Creeping Sharia Law (cue creepy theremin music) and thus a traitor to America.

Suspect anyone who:

1.) Drinks coffee. Coffee is suspected to have first been brewed in Sufi monasteries. You probably already suspected coffee was part of an Islamist conspiracy because you’re sensible enough to know that anything that can be described as “dark”, “dusky”, “brown”, or “black” is probably up to something.

1.) Drinks Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew and other fruity soft drinks (7up, Sprite, etc.) contain citric acid which was first isolated by Jābir ibn Hayyān. Also, in the case of Sprite, marriage should be between a man and a woman, not a lemon and a lime.

2.) Lives in a prefabricated or “mobile” home. Invented in the 16th century by Akbar The Great. So don’t go near that trailer park. It’s a trap!

3.) Is in a marching or military band. These can be traced back to the Ottoman Military Band. My God, they’ve even infiltrated our most sacred institution - high school football halftime shows!

To recap, here are 4 images of Islamofascists:

Image: 2008-01-07_mcdonalds_coffee_001.jpg
Image: steven-seagal-and-mountain-dew-gallery.jpg
Image: 8449.jpg
Image: USAF_Band_Ceremonial_Brass.jpg

If you see any of these people, report them to the authorities.