The Parable of the Long Guns and Pistols
Republican Jesus told the crowd to sit down on the ground. Then he took the seven long guns and the pistols, and when he had given thanks, he gave them to the disciples, and they in turn to the people. They all fired them and were satisfied. Afterward the disciples picked up seven basketfuls of long guns and pistols that were left over. The number of those who fired guns was four thousand men, besides women and children. After Republican Jesus had sent the crowd away, he got into his Ford F-150 with the big gun rack and the NRA and “Hillary For Prison” stickers on the back and drove to the vicinity of Magadan