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Islamic Toilet Etiquette - 20 rules to remember

Religion • January 2008 • Views: 238

Maybe UNC Chapel Hill can teach Infidels about Islamic toilet etiquette so as to not inadvertently offend a “believer.”

23

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1

Palandine Jan 29, 2008 • 9:47:39pm

Sura #2:

“And lo, remember that he who smelt it, dealt it, for Allah is All Gracious, Merciful.”

;)

2

pat Jan 29, 2008 • 10:08:57pm

I know more about this than I need to.

3

zombie Jan 29, 2008 • 10:22:45pm

They get really detailed about which finger is used to stimulate one’s anus after crapping:

…he should cleanse himself with two fingers and three fingers if necessary together with ‘pouring’ water. When using the two fingers, one should keep the middle finger in front and the ring and index finger behind it. After beginning with the fingers in this position, he should bring the ring finger forward and rub with the middle finger and ring finger. Thereafter, he will wipe with the index finger, if necessary. He should continue until all the impurity and smell is removed.

In San Francisco, we call this “anal play.”

Islam is teh gay!

4

zombie Jan 29, 2008 • 10:26:16pm

I think Frank Zappa is in serious violation of this shari’a law:

One should not face nor turn your back on Al-Qiblah whilst relieving yourself.

Frank! 120 lashes for you!

5

Ahat Jan 29, 2008 • 10:35:03pm

I’m glad it made clear cleaning yourself with dry dung is forbidden. Had me worried for a moment.

6

Ahat Jan 29, 2008 • 10:46:40pm

re:

7

Confuzed Jan 30, 2008 • 12:09:33am

Proctologist or Gastroenterologist to Muslim patient:
Any tarry or bloody stool?
I don’t know, we’re forbidden from looking at the excrement.

Chriropractor to Muslim patient:
You have slight scoliosis and uneven development of left and right legs.
We’re required to take a dump with the stress on the left foot.

Psychiatrist to Muslim patient:
These recurrent nightmares, might they be due to you looking up at the sky while taking a dump?
Why yes, I disobeyed Islamic doctrine in a moment of weakness and looked up at the beautiful open sky instead of having my eyes cast downwards in modesty.

No wonder Mos are so violent, they just get frustrated with so many things to remember.

8

Kirly Jan 30, 2008 • 5:34:54am

in the case the filth stuck to the orifice is more than a Dirham then its washing with the water is ‘Fard’. (obligatory)” Islamic Academy

fard

lol

9

Aye Pod Jan 30, 2008 • 10:30:50am

re:

Aye Pod Jan 30, 2008 • 10:37:35am

In many parts of the Muslim World, squat toilets are the norm and toilet paper remains rare and its use a matter of dispute.

“All innovation is a mistake” - Islam

PeaceBeUponHim Jan 30, 2008 • 7:34:09pm

When Muslims say Islam is not just a religion, but a way of life, they ain’t kidding.

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