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Texas School Board Creationist On the Hot Seat

102
Killgore Trout4/24/2009 7:05:31 pm PDT

Right wing extremists need their fiber……
Constipated Oklahoma City bomber in high-fiber prison diet bid

Terry Nichols, the domestic terrorist who teamed up with Timothy McVeigh to murder 168 people, 19 of them children, in the Oklahoma City bombing, is unhappy with his prison diet, which has left him struggling with “chronic constipation, bleeding, hemorrhoids” due to a lack of insoluble fiber.
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To support his legal claim, Nichols has rounded up declarations from six fellow Florence inmates, each of whom is supposedly beset with assorted digestive issues. Eric Rudolph, whose bombs killed victims at abortion clinics and the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta, reports that the “refined and highly processed” food served to killers like him causes “constipation, gas, and stomach cramps.” Like Nichols, Rudolph believes “our bodies” are “sacred and should be treated as such.”