re: #94 jamesfirecat

How about an ejector seat? Have you ever used to get out of a date you didn’t like?

No. I have an iPhone with a “fake caller” app.

Works like this. You’re sitting in the restaurant when she hands you an ordinary quartz crystal and tells you the “negative ions” it produces will shield you against all ills, including Russian ex-KGB agents.

So you say “excuse me” and start the fake caller program. Two clicks, and you set the fake call for two or five minutes or however long you think you can stand hanging around. Then you casually put the phone on the table.

Two or five minutes later, your phone goes off, and you say, “Mom? Is that you? REALLY?! OK, I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” Hang up, say “that was my mom, I gotta go - could you get the check?”

And you’re outtie.

Done it only once or twice, but it’s a lifesaver.