An announcement I’d love to see:

“Ladies and gentleman, please wait for the microphone before asking your question. Be advised, these mikes have been programmed to deliver a non-lethal, but really painful electric shock if they detect any of the following words: Kenya, birth certificate, moon, landings, conspiracy, steel, fire, can’t melt, CIA, second shooter, grassy knoll, or tuna fish. We’re not really sure why that last one’s there, but just to be on the safe side, please avoid that as well.”