Speaking of dead white men…my Senator just answered my angry letter about the stimulus bill:

Dear citizen, while the inevitable was not unexpected, the fan was positioned closer to the effluent chute than previously anticipated. We are trying to retain the moral high ground but Newt Gingrich’s message machine said he was busy re-reading “Winston Churchill: the wilderness years” and would not be available for counsel until 2010. Oracles sent to the Reagan gravesite were instantly immolated from friction generated heat caused by record GGTs (Gipper Grave Turnovers).

In some positive economic news dollar-meals, apple polish and sandwich board sales are all up.

We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this has caused you, your children, your children’s children, ad infinitum…

The Grand Old Party

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