Brad Pitt has got to be the worst guy you’d ever want to show up at a zombie apocalypse. During the initial zombie outbreak, he directs his family to take shelter in an apartment building, where they are given shelter by a brave immigrant couple. Moments later, the zombies that were following Brad & family overrun the building, killing the immigrant couple. Brad and family escape.

Later, Brad goes to an military base in South Korea to try to find the cause of the plague. They’re trying to be vewy, vewy quiet, but then Brad’s cell phone goes off, the zombies discover them and all the soldiers get killed. Brad escapes.

Brad then goes to Jerusalem where, despite knowing that zombies are attracted too sound, stands around watching the refugees sing loudly. The zombies overrun the walls of Jerusalem, and eat everybody there except Brad and the Brave Israeli Soldier Girl who was accompanying him. The Brave Israeli Soldier Girl gets bit in the hand, but Brad chops her hand off and saves her. Brad and the Brave Soldier Girl escape, managing to catch The Last Flight Out Of Jerusalem.

However, some infected guy in the bathroom turns into a zombie, and the whole plane goes zombie from the back to the front of the plane. Brad and the others put suitcases in the aisle to try to fool the zombies, but that works out about as well as you would expect. Brad detonates a grenade, sucking the zombies out of the plane and anyone else who might have still been human. The plane crashes, and Brad and the Brave Israeli Soldier Girl are the only survivors.

So take warning: if you see Brad Pitt coming your way during the zombie apocalypse, head the fuck the other way immediately.