So I made a beeline for the dairy aisle and that’s when I made a startling discovery. I brought my three-wheeled shopping cart to a screeching halt. I came face to face with a massive sign bearing giant letters.

It read: “HISPANIC CHEESE.”

I stared at the display for quite some time. I found myself drifting into an imaginary conversation with a store clerk…

“Do you need some help, sir?”

“Yes. Could you tell me where you keep the Caucasian cheese?”

I’m going to be pretty upset in November if, after having paid dolts like Todd good money to be all doofy and offensive while being conservative, that Democrats end up losing seats in the House and control of the U.S. Senate.

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