OK, as a Southerner I have to point out a few things—

First, we are, as a group, a little off our collective chump. You don’t live in that sweltering heat for generations on end without it taking some toll. (as evidence, I suggest someone take a drive out to Yuma or Banning or Blythe and look at the inhabitants)

Second, we are instinctively mistrustful of Yankees, thanks to that little dust-up between 1861-65. It was not losing the war that pissed us off— it was Reconstruction. Many of my kin still consider the South a conquered and occupied country. If a Yankee tells us that we should do something, our reaction is to do the opposite. As evidence, an endorsement for a candidate in Louisiana from the national party (didn’t matter which) was the political “kiss of death”.

Now, it’s no secret that a large swath of traditional conservative Democrats jumped ship starting in the 60’s and joined the GOP. Many of them came from the South— my Dad is one of them. This is why the South has been traditionally “Red” for many election cycles.

For the GOP elites to suggest that the Southern wing of the party is a Vampire is foolish. First, garlic is very widely used in Southern cooking (so’s lard, but who cares). Second, the GOP needs to keep in mind that while the Democrats can now win without the South, the GOP cannot. If the GOP leadership wants to spark a political Gotterdamerrung, there’s no surer way than wanting to kill its Southern base.

Many here despair of the nirthers and their failure to see reason. I’m with you on that— I’ve seen the mentality of the Southern voter for years and I am convinced that it will never change. I know people who consistently voted for the perennially-indicted Edwin Edwards because they feared the challenger might be worse. It is an unfortunate fact that has to be accepted.

Given that, my advice to the GOP is to treat the South as you always have since Lincoln. Consider it a wayward relation that needs to be brought back into the fold. Or more like the faithful dog that can never be quite trained; it’s a bit odd and somewhat unpredictable, but lovable, dependable and fiercely loyal—just so long as you are loyal to it and throw it a bone or two.

Yes— there’s some sarc in here—but not much.