Every “Real Quote” from every Twitter wingnut ever:
DERP DERP HURR HURR DEEDLY DERPTY DOO!!

Stubbed my toe in the dark. BLAME OBAMA!!11
I gained 3 lbs. this week. BLAME OBAMA!!11
Stuck in traffic. BLAME OBAMA!!11
Raccoons got into the garbage bags. BLAME OBAMA!!11
Had a fight with my wife/husband. BLAME OBAMA!!11

How it must utterly suck all the time to be them.