re: #4 SanFranciscoZionist

I miss ham. I’ve been pretty solidly quasi-kosher for a decade or so now. With a few notable slip-ups, the most notable slip-up involving a friend’s old-world Chinese parents and a huge plate of disgusting seafood dishes.

God: “I spent all this time creating this wonderful animal that you can get all kinds of delicious cuts of meat from, and My own Chosen People won’t eat it. I said don’t eat FIGS! Moses heard it wrong!”