Posted this on a prior thread …

White House Announces NARCDA To Spend $70 Million As A Result Of Stimulus

In a joint press conference at the White House, the North American Regional Crack Dealers Association (NARCDA) announced today that their members will be spending $70 million on new IT infrastructure as a result of passage of the Obama Stimulus Package.

“We’re gonna have crack whores and winos spendin their extra $400 a year on crack, and we need to ramp up our infrastructure to handle it.” said Little ThreePac Salih, spokesman for NARCDA. “We’re thinkin that new smartphones and laptops should help handle the 23% increase in same-corner sales that we have forecast.”

Robert Gibbs, press secretary for the Obama Administration cited the announcement as proof the “bottom up” economics are more effective at stimulus than traditional tax cuts and capital spending incentives that administrations going back to John F. Kennedy’s have used to help the US economy recover from recessions. “Clearly, the failed ideologies of ‘supply and demand’ and ‘money supply’ and ‘fiscal discipline’ of the ‘Chicago School’ have been moved to ash heap of history and we can now all embrace the ‘Chicago Way’ as our joint path to economic justice.”

Asked if he expected sustained demand for crack, ThreePac responded “F*** yeah! The Congress just repealed welfare reform, b*tch! And ACORN will be getting billions to pay poor folks for their votes! That means one thing: crack renaissance!”

In related news, Fox News reporter Major Garrett is reported to be in stable condition as he recovers from a gunshot wound sustained after he asked ThreePac “How can you live with yourself?” As Garret was stripped of his blood stained press credentials and removed from the briefing room, Gibbs commented that the incident showed one more reason for reinstituting the “fairness doctrine.” Gibbs observed “Here we have yet another unfortunate incident that shows how expressing divisive, one sided, incorrect and judgemental views just leads to more gun violence in America. Conservatives need the ‘fairness doctrine’ for their own safety.” Gibbs announced the credentialing of Miranda Sontag of The People’s Revolutionary Vegan-Feminist Alliance Blog, which will take the place of FoxNews until Garrett recovers and receives remedial counseling.