Did some gender changes…
A brain of feathers, and a heart of lead.
- - - Alexander Pope
A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.
- - - Tom Waits
A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits.
- - - Alexander Pope
Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast?
- - - from “Heathers”
Differently clued.
- - - Dave Clark
End of season sale at the cerebral department.
- - - Gareth Blackstock
Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale.
- - - David Letterman
She can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any woman I know.
- - - Abraham Lincoln
She has the attention span of a lightning bolt.
- - - Robert Redford
She has Van Gogh’s ear for music.
- - - Billy Wilder
She is brilliant - to the top of her boots.
- - - David Lloyd George
She is so stupid you can’t trust her with an idea.
- - - John Steinbeck
She is useless on top of the ground; she aught to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.
- - - Mark Twain
She knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
- - - Joseph Heller
She knows nothing and thinks she knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- - - George Bernard Shaw
She knows so little and knows it so fluently.
- - - Ellen Glasgow
She loves nature in spite of what it did to her.
- - - Forrest Tucker
She may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. She really is an idiot.
- - - Groucho Marx
She never chooses an opinion; she just wears whatever happens to be in style.
- - - Leo Tolstoy
She not only overflowed with learning, but stood in the slop.
- - - Sydney Smith
She thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.
- - - John Ruskin
She uses statistics the way a drunkard uses lampposts - for support, not illumination.
- - - Andrew Lang