All the little details of his inability to keep his pants zipped that, under ideal circumstances, should be of concern to no one.

Where it could be a simple matter of admitting he lied and abandoned his post as governor, now I need to know when he “was romantic” (i.e. humping), and when he wasn’t.

Note to pathetic governor: I don’t give a shit. Your love life isn’t any more interesting than my neighbor’s, and the mechanics are probably more similar than you think. Thankfully, my neighbor has the good grace to keep his freakin’ mouth shut about it, a quality that obviously eludes you.

chaperoned by a spiritual adviser soon after his wife found out about the affair.

Oh yes, the Fundie Get Out of Jail Free card. Like, no one saw that one coming. Gee, how original. Cheat, then run for the bible. Yeah, that’s a new twist. Not.

What a completely classless douchebag.