re: #167 Shiplord Kirel: From behind wingnut lines

I’ve been hearing a lot about the shortcomings of our time-honored but otherwise contrary imperial system of measures. Australians in particular condemn it as “uncivilized,” an apparent admission that Oz itself was a barbarous backwater until it went metric less than 50 years ago. I know metric will not fly here, since various pundits and witchdoctors evangelists have condemned it as “gay” and, worse, invented by the French.
To that end, I am devising my own system of measurement, one tied to the needs and perceptions of suburban consumer units, er, families.
In my system, distance and area would be measured in football fields, with the deca-football field replacing the mile. Football fields are not square but then neither are acres so nothing would be lost in measuring area.
Weight would be in Bransons. This is the weight of what a typical consumer could eat in one sitting at a Branson Missouri all-you-can-eat buffet. This would be divided into 15 snacks and 165 nibbles. Why not ten, you ask? What are you? A Communist?
Finally temperature would on the Brass Monkey scale, where zero is the point where their gonads fall off and one hundred where you can fry bacon by tying a strip around their neck.

There’s an Australian machinist on youtube who converts his precise metric measurements into imperial “bananas.”