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Onion Exclusive: Biologists Confirm God Evolved From Chimpanzee Deity

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Targetpractice4/10/2014 8:24:24 pm PDT

re: #181 NJDhockeyfan

I don’t know why this is breaking news. They’ve been saying this for days. Until they actually find the plane being confident means nothing.

It’s the usual bit of keeping it in the news. First it was “We’re getting pings,” then it was “We’ve lost the pings, but still searching,” then “found the pings again, but must now confirm.” And now it’s “We’re confident the pings are what we’re looking for, but stay tuned because we may change our minds again.”