re: #172 A Mom Anon

I think that’s one of the hard things for many people to understand about depression and anxiety disorders. It’s not just one thing that works for everyone. I was reading somewhere that meds only work on about 1/3 of people, so that leaves a lot of people who need something(s) else. And even if the meds work, many people need more than that. While mental illnesses are medical problems, they are also very different than something like diabetes or other chronic illnesses. That makes it hard for people to understand and hence lead to some really insensitive attitudes. There’s no magic cure, it’s work and a balancing act every day.

My wife once wondered what it is about society that so many people now seem to be suffering from so many mental/emotional conditions. I said I think it was probably always this way, and lots of people just went through life with this burden, not sharing it with anyone, miserable but alive - except for those who couldn’t take it anymore. My wife’s mother was miserable most of her life, as far as we can tell. Mrs. J’s Dad loved her, and still speaks fondly of her, but she mystified him. he could not understand why she left him and ran back to the town she grew up in, only to be miserable there, too. She was on Valium for a long time, but that just numbs you. And there was a time when she drank, till she got a DWI and quit.

Given how clearly heritable her condition was (both children affected), I cannot imagine it didn’t also afflict her mother or father. Not sure which one, or how they coped, but her whole family has a very WASP-ish “We Don’t Talk About Things” rule.