Pediatrician: “Oh, hi officer. I wanted to pass on some very disturbing information I got from my 7-year-old patient Jamie S when I asked him he got some gun-cleaning solvent in his eyes.”

Detective: “And?”

Pediatrician: “He tells me that his stepfather keeps two loaded submachine guns in the hall closet, a Desert Eagle .50 with 5 magazines in the nightstand, and an RPG-7 with 12 extra rockets under some loose floorboards in the kitchen.”

Detective: “YOU’RE UNDER ARREST!”