The various responses to this world wide happening will go something like this:
The government will say “Aliens took them away.”

Bill Maher will say, “Good riddance! Let’s do a line.”

Al Gore will say, “The Christians didn’t disappear. It us enlightened folks that have evolved to a higher plane.”

Rosie O’Donnell will have another doughnut.

And at some unmanned radio station, The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys plays on a continuous loop.