Found this over on this blog.

Reminds me a bit of my own college days.

Dear Jew,

We have received your letter of request to join the Progressive Club and view it most favorably. We would just like to notify you that, as with any club, not all are admitted who request, but only those who abide by the precepts and ideals of our most esteemed institute. Therefore, we are sending you this list of obligations, so as to help you to ascertain whether you are suitable for membership in our Club. Please review ALL requirements before sending us your reply.

* As an initial price of admission, you must agree that all territories taken by Israel in the war of 1967 must be ethnically cleansed of all Jews. Failure to abide by this precept automatically disqualifies one from membership in the Club.

* You must accept, and teach others, that the Palestinians are a real nation that has inhabited Palestine from time immemorial. You may not suggest in any way (such as by use of the term “Palestinian Arab” rather than “Palestinian”) that they are merely part of a bigger nation, much less that they are a political contrivance.

* You must accept, and teach others, that Zionism is a European settler-colonist movement having the purpose of displacing the indigenous Palestinians from the get-go.

* You must believe that Zionist Jews of non-European origin were either coerced or tricked into being Zionists by the European Jews. You may not entertain any idea that goes against the European Colonialist Settler Narrative of Zionism.

* You must not accord any significance to Jewish history in Palestine. You must dismiss all Jewish claims to Palestine as “founded on fairy tales.”

* You must not believe that a Jewish state has any right to exist in Palestine. You may advocate the Two-State Solution, but only as a practicable means of minimizing the damage of Zionism, not because it is a morally right solution.

* You may quote no source that insinuates that Palestine was not a heavily-populated, teeming paradise on earth when the first Zionists invaded it in 1882.

* You must not use place-names that suggest an ancient Jewish connection to Palestine. For example, you must use the term “West Bank,” not “Judea and Samaria,” and the name “Nablus,” not “Shechem.” Failure to abide by this rule will mark you as pro-Zionism and lead to your expulsion from the Club.

* You must not use the term “terrorist” except when speaking of the Israeli Occupation Force and the Zionist regime. You must accustom yourself to thinking of Hamas as freedom fighters.

* If called to condemn suicide bombing, you must counter that it is the weapon of the weak and oppressed.

* You must hold Israel to the most stringest standards of an enlightened Western democracy, standards that are higher than life itself.

* You must not hold the Palestinians to any such standards, as that would be a show of Western imperialism toward an indigenous people.

* You must applaud any step toward there being no Jews in the post-1967 territories. You must condemn any Jewish building in those territories as ethnic cleansing.

* You must decry any step toward there being fewer Palestinians in the pre-1967 territories. You must condemn any proposal to move Palestinians from pre-1967 Israel to the West Bank and Gaza as ethnic cleansing.

* You must call for Israel to admit millions of Palestinian refugees in accordance with the Right of Return.

* You must show understanding toward Palestinian leaders who say a future Palestinian state will not allow Jewish residents.

In short:

* You must not support Israel in any meaningful way.

We are most grateful for your interest and await your reply.

Your sincerely,
The administrators of
The Progressive Club