re: #238 HappyWarrior

It is God’s plan. Not really what you want to hear after a loved one dies or is diagnosed with a terminal illness.

Especially if you’re not a Christian.

I’ve heard that here about my very ill step-father and they know I’m an atheist.

Even worse than “It is God’s plan” is when someone is in a state of fear or grief and they swoop in for proselytisation.

That happened to me during prep for my last hand surgery at the VA. I’d already been given drugs for preparation to be anesthetised, and the hospital chaplain came by my bed.

He had a list of people to visit with personal info on a clipboard, and he did not ask me if I wanted to pray. He asked me if I wanted to talk, or if there was something he could do for me.

I thanked him and said I didn’t need to talk, but asked if he would be kind enough to check on my wife in the waiting lounge. (My wife later told me he did check with her, and while he sat with others to pray or give religious comfort, he did not do that with my wife.)

Then the surgeon came by and told me “It’s my custom to offer prayer for my patients before we start. Do you have any special request for prayer?”

I told him I put my trust in his experience and long years of study. That was enough for me. He was sort of taken aback by that, but thanked me before I was wheeled out.

In recovery, one of the nurses told me he’d never seen that doc so upset by what he regarded as a refusal to pray with him before.