re: #217 Kid A

For the hockey fans, a Texan’s report on tonight’s game.

I’ve spent my entire life so far not giving a measurable quantity of fuck about sports in general, but I can actually watch a hockey game now and again. I was also rather inexplicably entranced by women’s water polo during the most recent Olympics.

Nevertheless, I don’t know jack shit about any of the teams or players; I don’t care who wins; and I FOR BOB-DAMN-SURE don’t care who gets traded to what team, or who gets what contract, or whatever. A guy at work listens to a popular Dallas sports radio station called “The Ticket”, and all they talk about is that kind of crap. It’s just TMZ-style celebrity gossip, with jocks as the focus.

Attention men who pay attention to sports: You are exactly the same as the people who pay attention to soap operas. This is what obsessive male sports talk sounds like to my ears:

Jack’s surprised when “A-Rod” agrees to have hs photo taken with one of his fans and then announces to the country club dining room guests that he’s buying everyone lunch. Jack asks him why he’s been acting so strangely since he returned from his kidnaping ordeal. Coach Jane intercedes and insists it’s nothing, so Jack suggests he get some professional help. Jane finally claims that Jack’s the problem.