Given the rumors that Upchuck pooped on the floor, that he pissed in his girlfriends mouth and that he attempted to copulate with a sheep, you think he’d be more sensitive to what kind of damage malicious rumors can do and act accordingly.

But of course, that assumes a couple of facts not in evidence: that Upchuck is capable of empathy and that the rumors are malicious and false.

I wonder how much money we’d have to raise to get his girlfriend to confirm the rumor? Cause the sheep ain’t talking.