Step 1: File to remove case from Missouri to California, as CCJ and his company were, at all times relevant to the allegations at hand, primarily doing business in California.

Step 2: Pursuant to CAL. CCP. CODE 425.16, defendants Gawker Media, LGF, et seq., file a special motion to strike.

Step 3: Judge takes a look at CCJ’s pleading papers.

Step 4: Judge laughs until he wets his robe.

Step 5: Judge dismisses CCJ’s case with prejudice and awards attorneys fees to defendants. Multiple defendants+complex case=treble damages. Judge additionally awards sanctions against CCJ.

Step 6: CCJ audibly projectile-shits on floor of courtroom.

Step 7: Defendants file motion to seize all assets & chattels, freeze all accounts. Granted.

(time lapse for Sheriffs to evict CCJ and Hot Asian Wife as movers carry everything out of house)

Step 8: CCJ seen pushing shopping cart full of Calvin Coolidge dolls around the streets of Fresno, twitching and talking to himself.