Best lion joke I ever heard:

This missionary in Africa is walking along the savanna one day when he notices he’s being stalked by a pride of lions. The next village is still two hours away, and being a man of peace, he has no gun.

At first he tries to ignore them, but they come closer and closer. He tries flinging stones, but hitting a lioness only makes the whole pride angry and aggressive. Finally he is reduced to running. As he goes, he prays: “O Lord, turn these savage lions into devout Christians, I beseech thee!”

Before the first lion can reach him, he stumbles, knocks his head on a rock and passes out.

When he comes to, the lions are sitting in a circle around him, looking at their meal, and chanting in unison: “For that which we are about to receive, we thank thee, O Lord!”