Now that Haakondahl has outed me as a Marxist (and a gay one, he believes - but I digress), I’m dropping the mask.

It’s all part of a plan that Soros, Gramsci and I have been working on for more than a century.

Once it’s complete, I will be rewarded with the proconsulship of the Province Formerly Known as Maine, where I shall introduce sex education into pre-school and bring in wolves to keep the Republican population down.

There is nothing you can do to stop us.