re: #246 Obdicut

I’ve been in a hurricane, a forest fire, had a gun pulled on me, had a gun fired at me, had dynamite thrown at me, been pushed off a two story roof, trapped on a mountain overnight, and I used to be a bouncer and was attacked with a variety of things there.

My brother wins, though: He’s been bit by a cougar (cat kind) and shat on by a polar bear.

I got bit by a shark when I was 15. My fault, really. I didn’t think the sucker had teeth…or more precisely, I didn’t see the teeth as they were folded back into its gums, and when I went to take the hook out, the little fucker clamped down on my finger. I was aboard a Fijian cargo ship (a trip arranged by my host-parents as I was an exchange student). Fortunately, one of the crew members was fast with a large club and managed to stun the little (3ft Mako) fucker with one whack, and I got my hand back mostly in tact.

Next was the trip to the galley, where the Indian cook opened a pot covered with huge cockroaches, brushed them aside, and scooped a handful of salt to throw on my hand (causing quite a scream on my part) before cleaning me up and bandaging me. I got an extra bowl of Kava that night (along with an extra couple of beers) to help put me to sleep.