Everything the wingnuts feared about gay marriage is coming true.

Bride Plans to Marry Her Bicycle

After 15 years together, Lisa Nelson has decided to marry Steel Spokes, her beloved bicycle. The next day, the Spokes shall depart on a six-month bicycle touring honeymoon. On March 2, 2014, the unusual couple will tie the knot in Pacifica, just South of San Francisco. The Hawaiian themed affair will have the bridesmaids dressed in hula attire, complete with a flower girl, and a ring-bearing pooch (also appropriately dressed). The wedding party and assorted guests will be on bicycle. The entourage plans to cycle along the ocean to the old Pacifica Courthouse for the marriage ceremony. A festive luau reception shall follow.

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The bicycle marriage idea came to Lisa as a fundraising idea after reflecting on how many weddings and babies that she had helped fund. The project is posted on Indiegogo. In return for any support, the Spokes will provide an array of unique entertaining perks.

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