re: #274 LudwigVanQuixote

Just some humor:

David received a parrot for his birthday - but parrot was fully grown, surly, and full of attitude. Every other word was a swear word. Those that weren’t were, rude. David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything that came to mind. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird, but the bird got worse.

Finally, in a moment of desperation, after the bird had said something that caused David’s girlfriend to cry, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird cussing, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all was quiet. David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto David’s extended arm and said, “I’m truly sorry that I offended you with my language and actions. I ask for your forgiveness. I will go to synagogue with you every week to pray and I will try to modify my behavior.”

David was astounded at the bird’s change in attitude.

Then the parrot asked, “May I ask what the chicken did?”

And now my parrot/freezer story (Soviet vintage):

Oleg inherits a parrot from his late great-aunt. However, the bird screams, over and over, “A worker’s paradise my ass!” and “Down with Brezhnev!”, prompting a visit from the KGB. As they leave Oleg’s apartment they tell him they will be back the next day, and they expect to see a change in the parrot’s attitude.

The following day, the KGB agents revisit Oleg. As soon as they walk through the door the parrot shouts “Down with Zionism! Up with Angela Davis! Long live the heroic working class of the Soviet nation!” The agents praise Oleg for the change he has brought about, drink a glass of tea, and leave.

As soon as they’re gone, Oleg sinks down into a chair and tells the parrot, “I’m glad spending the night in the freezer got it through to you what Siberia was going to be like.”