re: #305 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

I design kitchens. This ignorant…paranoid…stupid (insert any other adjective here) customer made an appointment with me, without her husband being home… and proceded to check my I.D. (which I never mind) and stood for the first 50 minutes while I was in the home with her with a knife between me and her.

She said “You can’t be too careful these days.”

I said, “I know. M’aam, right now a total stranger is holding a knife on me.”

I will a door to door bill collector in the middle 70’s, before I got into programming. I was at a woman’s house in texas once, she excused herself from the living room and came back in with a shot gun and said that if I didn’t leave her house, there would be a dead honky splattered on her wall.

I turned around and told her that she’s right, but I would make sure that I made as big a mess as I could when I splattered.

She started to laugh, that’s when I left.