I love a good conspiracy theory, because I used to be a heavy-duty JFK assassination conspiracy theorist back when it was still cool (before Oliver Stone ruined it for everyone), and an even heavier-duty UFO nut around the same time. I don’t really remember exactly when I abandoned those beliefs, or what the specific turning point was, but I do remember that it was very sudden, like a light switch being turned on.

I know very well the internal logic of conspiracy thinking, and I have to say that by the standards of Dealey Plaza-lurking goons and UFO-spotting kooks, conspiracy theories in the age of Trump are embarrassingly stupid.

Among the stupidest I’ve seen so far have to do with the goofy-ass decor of the MAGAbomber’s van. RWNJ intellectual beacons like convicted felon Dinesh D’Sousa and famous junkie Rush Limbaugh have asserted that the shit plastered all over the guy’s van isn’t faded and sun-bleached, and that somehow indicates it’s all a hoax. Because obviously there’s no way he could have started on a batshit poster binge at the same time he decided to start building bombs, and both new hobbies couldn’t possibly be parts of the same mental process.

I find it really sad that these fucking idiots can find more than 3 people to listen to them. Frankly, I blame Alex Jones for commercializing conspiracy theories and dumbing them down for the lowest common mainstream kook denominator. He McDonald’s the shit out of fringe lunacy. When your parents and grandparents are conspiracy theorists, it’s just not cool anymore.