re: #336 Aceofwhat?

Also still seems to be a lot of “turn to page 15 to find out what he’s thinking!” and “what does he really want” articles out there.

As if we’re that difficult to figure out…

My favorite is the Cosmo sex tips. Every issue since I dunno when has advertised on the cover sizzling, forbidden, NAUGHTY things you can do to blow his mind.

The problem is that they actually do not want to get too kinky, or risk putting in sex tips that might turn off or upset some of their readers, or require some knowledge and practice to do safely.

So it turns out that the happy medium, much of the time, involves ice. Ice seems to strike them as safely livening, without being potentially offensive. Lots of stuff you can do to turn your man on with an ice cube.

They’re also big on the *gasp* two-handed approach to a hand job, some ginger use of foods in bed, and tying him up with a scarf.

Taking off your clothes slowly is also recommended frequently.

Given that Cosmo is pretty expensive, and the Big Book of Fun Stuff to Try In Bed (a book I just made up) retails for $14.99 on Amazon, I really don’t know how they continue to get away with this in the present day and age.

(Cosmo is most famously for the women I shared a college apartment with, the source of the advice that you should use the ice to harden your nipples before initiating sex, so as to appear REALLY eager. We had hours of fun imagining and acting out the horrible scenarios that we imagined followed this, as the unsuspecting warm body of the lover came into contact with the chilled-to-zero nipples of the beloved.)