totally cribbed:

For those keeping score…

High-profile Democrats testing positive - 0
Biden and Harris: On the campaign trail

High-profile Republicans testing positive - I’ve lost count
Trump and Pence: Hiding in the basement of Walter Reed

Democratic fundraising: Wow
Republican fundraising: Lol

Democratic senate hopefuls: Happy (we’ll see about Cunningham)
Republican senate hopefuls: Not so happy

Democratic House prospects: Speaker Nancy Pelosi
Republican House prospects: See above

Democratic party looks like: America
Republican party looks like: Leisure World