For all of you who groan like I do when you hear someone say, “Studies show that…” theonion.com” />theonion.com” allowScriptAccess=”always” allowFullScreen=”true” wmode=”transparent” width=”480” height=”430”flashvars=”image=http%3A%2F%2ftheonion.com%2Fcontent%2Ffiles%2Fimages%2FSTAB_WOUNDS_STILL.jpg&videoid=63894&title=Study%3A%20Multiple%20Stab%20Wounds%20May%20Be%20Harmful%20To%20Monkeys”>bed> Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys