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Right Wingers Emit Blizzard of Conspiracy Theories to Excuse Trump's Debate Loss

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nickzi9/28/2016 7:53:34 pm PDT

Last night Dead Andrew Breitbart perched on the non-existent headboard of my bed and softly whispered to me a confession that he had bio-engineered the string cheese on Trump’s head into a sophisticated wireless router.

I asked him what went wrong in the debate.

He blinked his little red eyes and muttered:

“User Error. “