Hey my fellow lizards, Target here from the planet Hoth, formerly known as Virginia Beach. It seems that the weather wizard Cantore brought the blizzard with him, as the wind and snow has seriously picked up since last night. No snowfall estimates just yet, but the uneducated eye says it’s above the usual amounts for this time of year here. As you can probably guess, that’s meant the locals are in a panic and cannibalism can’t be far behind.

Donner, party of 50. Donner Party!////