Because this has been the most amusing/horrifying thing on my FB feed lately, I thought I’d share. Meet Exhibit A for what NOT to look for or put up with in a man:

Delusional Man-Child Has Most Incredible List of Dating Requirements

Looking to make a quick $1,500? Well, all you have to do is help this 39-year-old Austinite find the — not fat, not black, long-haired, unselfish, non-tattooed (SOME exceptions), non-bespectacled, childless (and not ever wanting children) (which is a good thing, because boyfriend should NOT reproduce), positive, warm, thigh-high-wearing, non-slutty (or “slutty dressing”) (except in the bedroom), non-smoking, sexaholic, original-breast-having, romantic, sentimental — woman of his dreams.

Sleepless in Austin — yes, he is a fan of the move, thanks for asking — is just your average guy looking for a dame in this crazy game called life. Since he’s incapable of doing it on his own (please see below re: major personality defects), he’s looking for you to throw one of your friends under the bus into his loving arms in return for some cold, hard cash.

Yes, he’s real. And Reddit has been having a field day with him.