re: #37 Dr Lizardo

Wasn’t Santa Claus crucified by elves? I’m pretty sure he was.

*headdesk*

Santa was supposed to be the 4th wise man, but he failed to heed God’s command and did not bring a present to Baby Jesus. For his sin, God cursed him to live forever, his one chance at redemption to be to bring a gift to Christ on the second coming. The “elves” are the children who stay up late to catch Santa, witness the true horror, and become bound to his will, cursed to serve him until the Messiah returns.