The Foster Friess guide to women’s health.

Obviously, I was making a little bit of a joke when I suggested that gals might want to hold a Bayer aspirin between their knees to keep from getting pregnant. That was just a thing we used to say back in the old days, and I think it slipped right by some people out there. The truth is, this whole contraception issue has been blown way out of proportion. It’s not a costly thing, and I don’t see why the government needs a hand in it.

Back in my day, if a gal didn’t want to get pregnant, she didn’t get married. Simple as that. The taxpayer doesn’t need to fund the loose lifestyles of modern women; if these gals don’t want a baby, they can just work out a deal with the local soda jerk for to wash between her knees with Pepsi-Cola. It worked for the town prostitute back in Rice Lake, and she was healthy as a bull moose. It was cheap, too. I mean the Pepsi-Cola was cheap, not the town prostitute! She was a real elegant gal.

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